Saturday, November 19, 2011

Captain Notes

I don't need to be super powerful to hold my weight when I'm standing and run, I have two foot where my body was held on it tied by my own backbone  and neuro as a system line which controlled by my brain. I don't wanna be selfish  to pride what I am now but I am to be me where I am is my own system of my self and even so I have boundaries in my society to limit my moved and surely I need those as a human who has nothing since I was born.

I'm standing as a captain in this star, this is not society where I'm standing on the ground where I controlled my self as the system gave me a limit to fight and not made any war to my self. We're flying in search of life where the life isn't green anymore, where humans become greedy  and doesn't care about their environment and made them self as the god of matter where everything will be complete with a system called dollars. 

They choose me not because I'm smarter than others or stronger than others.  I have foot to stand as people has and brain with also the same size with others. One thing that made me as a captain is when I got a reward in a long standing over my trip with my ship, I don't have place to go home so I'm a free man without someone whom waiting for me in front of their doors so I dedicated my life inside of this ship.

I don't have anything beside my dedication of my own war where I put my system to my crew. We're travelling since 5 years ago when deforestation is happen on earth where the river become dry and flood are everywhere because humans are no longer care to their life stand. A human systems where development of their constructions are no longer watching the soil and the water flow, un-discipline of each person who become selfish for them self to build their own damages. People are blaming each others, war is everywhere, strength are became dominant and the most powerful are the most winner. People are provocated by issues, corruptions, egoism, rape, killing and manything that it become ussual ceremony following the ages that I'm pursue this isn't a break down, it even getting worst day by days.

And here we're standing without the ground within the metal which floating searching for emptiness, but I'm personal was a machine where I put my heart on an ice box and put my logic as a masterplan inside of my neuro. I don't need any love or tender as a man should be. I never cared with all those kind of lie, When I was a little my father was took me to a parade and said that I should be a man whom can break out all the  boundaries where I make it as a survival and consciousness for being humanity but then it also a lie, a responsible man  like my father is also played some tricks, he left my mother and me in a bad conditions. He married other girl which he believe that me and my mother is only a burden and that time I was pulling my self from love word, my mother was lived alone until the end of her life because of heartache, love to a man like my father is the bigest mistakes in her life even she made me as her love and her life, she couldn't afford to kept her heart and it killing her.

Surely I'm looking for home now,  home where I can stepped on my grass yard, where I put my half life, a wife who watching from the front windows and wishing me to come home at night and prepare me for a dinner but it also need loves to get all those thing meanwhile I'm standing now without a heart. A heart that I put in a cool box wishing a rain to melt it.  And I'm now keep searching a pure rain over the earth between the acid rain because of human causes.

I have 10 crews where always be friend to me, friends that wishing for home also, but they still have heart inside them which could cry sometimes and laugh at their own stupidity. They are family to me even I couldn't saves their life, what I'm doing is lead them to find what is become their happiness even I know it's impossible for me to find a new world where we can build a new family and melt my heart to be love as it should be.

Actually I don't wanna complained about things that were happen to us now, we're enjoying our life now living inside our comfort box but for now we're needed a place for better living as love  can build it.

And we're now keep walking for what we believe that someday we could find it.

No comments:

Post a Comment