The steps I found

Time like it was, it just a self understanding

not depths as the ocean or un-counted rainfall

painting black within the dark with closed eyes

you are the un-spoken as beautiful mess

time and the continuous, ticking second

you come back on no where stand revenge

it's like picking trash on the empty field of hope

where love s just nothing and hopeless

so what I am and here we are now

tied up behind the untrusred answer of loving thing

and how poor we're?

Today I gotta fight

and tomorrow I'll be back tou without dream on me

just an empty space of beautiful mess

and here we're again listen to the step where we never take on fate

because we're being afraid on time 

everyone will knows I am a loser

but always be never cared

so I killed superiority

fighting my ego in a self destruction

when you are not always here

watching me die while trying

Aku Diam

Jika sebuah nada hanya mata dan terpejam

nada yang kemudian diam dan berpikir

aku adalah waktu yang hilang tampak dipermukaan

lalu manakah diam yang aku cari?

bukankah ia sudah menghilang saat cinta datang.

*

Tidak teman, cinta bukan hanya saja malang

dia sudah enggan diam dan berbicara dunia tanpa nurani

biar saja hilang dan tak usah kau mencinta

**

Aku sudah membawa gunung ditelapak kakiku

dan sejuta mimpi terpendam didalamnya

namun aku telah menginjaknya dan

kakiku terluka dalam melangkah lagi

***

Biar saja teman, usangnya hari bukan kita mati

namun hidup ada dipelupuk mata

jika hujan tak pernah datang gantilah dengan bak mandi

****

aku diam dan diam

*****

Yakinkah kau akan selalu diam

******

aku sedang diam kawan!!

The Walker

Mike didn't get any answer from yesterday rainy night. Every dance that Nicole shown to Mike in front of his eyes every time he move is like an empty shade. Mike was walking around the town treading along the pedestrian walk seeing live where every body seems made many perception on that. Some people described in a question mark (?), some people described into a dream and past but for Mike Life is enjoying life (tone of jazz).

Time is never time at all You can never ever leave without leaving a piece of youth And our lives are forever changed #words

Love was very precious upon of all this humanity, belief,  relationship, nature and instead love is nothing. Every body predict bout love and proud of their love it seems like love is become everything, and they are forgetting many thing to catch their love even to sacrifice others. Mike doesn't wanna do that and make everything seem nothing happen is his love life. He keep walking without turn around

Meanwhile above the sky, we're not able to see the limit. But after you close the eyes, you already set the limit of the sky #prose 

where did we put a value of sincerity when a meaning has not a meaning it self. We don't need to understand that #prose

Anti gravity between falling down and flying. The only thing that stepped is belief where carried out by time #prose

"Sincerity means true love", Mike says to the wind which hit him in the face and made him realizing something about love it self. 

LOVE = LIVE = SINCERITY = FREEDOM = BELIEF = EXISTENCE

He didn't wanna get too far walking so he was sat in the corner of a yard behind of the old building. He was stared at the building. The building was very old as he know because before he was born the building is already exist. 

When he was a child, he often to play around inside the garden beside the old building. The building was very beautiful, it showed valor, elegance, beauty and even when worn with age. He remembered beside the building there's a love letter which crafted in a stone.

"Love is not a think or even an action where the heart couldn't walk along,

You're an existence in every flow of blood inside, that was a true love.

If my logic was killed, please stab me with your conscious,

and if my heart was too weak to love, please fill me belief of your existence.

But if I couldn't fixed it both of them then it means I wasn't here anymore"

Mike still holding the blank piece of paper which he thought that this is the beginning of all struggle. In Love where he got, in belief and in his searching for fate. He said to him self "This blank paper is weak but hastremendous power destroyed. In the course of time it is only emotional outlet that not the least we should understood. This paper will be my honest, it's not perfect or perfectly. It's only a starting point".

Today and the next day, will be a great exhaustion and recite many prose that will always blurred. many expectation will will appear and evolve toward the peak of blood and tears. Mike was sure if it not just a lie and hypocrisy apparent. He said 

"Only one of all material I'd collected into a thought that it was too deep and what I wrote and I'd imagine is a mental change, raged feeling in the soul of this soul. You will never believe there's my existence and I'm always around without killing you, killing the character personal egoism and self revolution launched a pre-and post-call you are alive...!

A discourse that floats and resentment also regret that chime piecemeal show essence and set a side sharp fangs cruelty and gloom of love feeling. love is become darker when you fight for it, and this is not just about dark but this is all about inside the contemplation and a journey".

Mike walking through the night fall.....

The un-dancing Rainfall

Mike is in a deep silent when the rain start falling down filling the air with all the anxiety inside his heart after had a chat with Nicole, Nicole was looked at Mike's eyes and seeing there's something which Nicole's knew that Mike is keeping an explosion inside.

She knows that Mike is loving her so much but she also felt very bad if Mike is only become a feeling runaway from the misery that happens to her. 

"Mike, can I kept your silent inside of my heart?"

"sure Nicole, I have falling into it and you can took it anytime"

"But I want to loving you from my heart"

"I know you couldn't Nicole, but however I'm still loving you"

"Tell me what should I do Mike?"

"I don't wanna be superior or any priority of your life,

 I have heart and it's already given to you.

 I know this is wouldn't be easy for you to accept all this reality,

 every night inside my prayer, you came as an answer for me.

 I couldn't have your heart but love is not about owned or possessed

 I just wanna be a guardian for your heart and I won't let it hurts"

"But this is about a lifetime Mike, I just want to make sure my own heart"

"Really I am not going to insist you you accept all but please listen to all my words,

 I just wanna be a place where you came to me when you sad and needed someone to share,

 If you don't wanna share your happiness it will be okay for me, as long I can share my happiness to you,

 I know I'm being selfish with all my word,

 I just wanna keep lived with my loved till the rest of my days.

 I want to become a responsible person and a consequences which I should taken"

The rain drop very heavily that night, Nicole was stand up and stepped down the stair. Five minutes she was silent and her face was looking to the sky. She felt guilty to Mike and she don't know what to answer.

Nicole know that Mike is a good person and very responsible person but, She didn't know why there's a doubt among her. Is it because of He's single person meanwhile Nicole is has two children from the divorced marriage. 

"Mike came with me and take off all your watch and cell phone. put it and come to me"

Mike is only following what is Nicole said and get close with her, then Nicole is grab Mike's hand and taking him  to entering the rain. And under the rain she start dancing. Mike confused and didn't able to move at all. He only seeing the rain dance and thinking that is the beautiful dance he ever met in whole life.

She's spinning sometimes and her hands up to the sky like she want to grab the rain source. Her eyes was closed and her feet is following the rain rhyme. For ten minutes she dance in front of Mike and Nicole also seems like didn't care if Mike is watching her dance. Her wet hair, her wet cloths and the most is her wet heart. Then Nicole came to Mike and whispered.

"I love the rain because is blurring my tears,

 No one knows I'm crying loud because the rain drop and the thunder,

 I loved and I will keep dancing so what will you do?" 

Mike now running to the place where he put his jacket and all his tools, meanwhile Nicole is watching his back. Nicole think that Mike was so coward to face the rain and didn't pass in that examination and Nicole get disappointed. She turn her head and bow, start crying but of course because the rain so the cried was silent. 

Less than a minutes Nicole was keep bow and cry, but then Mike is now come to her back and gave a jacket to cover her head so the rain was not hit her head. Mike also make the jacket as her blanket so Nicole can feel warm even a little bit. Mike is whispering to Nicole,

"I'll be the jacket to covering you inside the rain even the rain is still wet,

 I'll covering the rain drop so in personal I'll be able to listen your cry

 and

 I'll be someone who taking you out from the rain if your body get fall or sick because of the rain"

Nicole is still stand up with Mike is hugging her from the back. She felt very ashamed and still don't know what to do? she think "Is this called sincerely? Is this called true love? or any others within..."

Life on contemplation

The moonlight illuminated the dark night. In front of her house Mike saw her, she seemed quiet gem hearts try to explain something to her son. Her eyes were like a full moon and infiltrates into the eyes of her son. My heart trembled. 

Mike can see there is a hope in Nicole's eyes. She seems waited for her son to ask something. Mike was very struck between right side and what position he was taking. A question from a son to his mother. The distance that stretched far between ignorance has become a chasm that is not unattainable. The story is filled with suspicion. The story that become tasteless.

Mike was hearing the conversation from a distance.

"Mom, have you ever seen the color of life?"
"Wait till the day has a rain my child"
"Why?"
"Because inside the rain you'll find the contemplation and you'll find a rainbow spectrum of light after the rain stopped, and that was the color of life"
"I had seen one rainbow, so this life was colorful, but why there's no black color?"
"Before you make a judgement, you must understand what is the essence of those color first"
"Why?"
"Black is not a color my son, black is a base or a space of awareness and showed that the world is stretched very wide"
"I don't understand, mother"
"Did you ever notice how far is our seen through the eyes? did you ever made a measurement about that?"
"Nope"
"It the same like a 'black' thing. it couldn't be reach from our eyes, That also showing how Mighty Powerful God is"
"And where is the space restrictions of our lives?"
"We're set our own limits and boundaries of the space through our mind"
"Does that mean we are controlling our emotions and abilities that determine how far we can go and we should go?"
"Yes, that was true my child"
"Then how about people who are desperate?"
"They have given up on the state and forget the existence of him self"
"So as a human being, where we must start our live mom?"
"Self aware and never stop learning as time goes"
"Self-conscious means to love our self, then how do we love others"
"Learn from the rivers which flow from the high ground to the sea"
"Whether that means time and we continue to move toward something bigger and we do not know it"
"True, my child"
"And will return to higher land carried away by the rain?"
"Yes"
"And we'll not stand on edge of the river at the same time, then from the rain it will return become a rainbow, mom?"
"Very well my child, it's a sign that you're up for this life"

Then her son is entered the house left his mother alone sitting in the front of the house. Mike was came to her. Mike was thinking, those who are sick because of love, in truth is the person who has a true love. They experienced the bitterness. They are experiencing powerlessness. So then got up to clean themselves. Find alternative changes, which would be built in order to love again, not for a second time to fall again and back to heartache.

Love. It is not a really freedom, but it is a road that leads to the true freedom. The love that makes attachment and built a relationship. Also love that teaches us how to unravel the tangled threads of life.

"Hey Nicole"

"If love is so superior why it can be kill someone who fall into it"

(Nicole is smiling and ask Mike to sit beside her)

"Mike, there's something you wouldn't understand that you've understand about it"

"What's that?"

"If you really found a true love what will you do? are you will giving all of your life to her?"

"Yes, of course that's what I do when I met you"

"It also the same Mike, before I met you I found one"

"Did you mean before me you find another man"

"Yes, and he came when I was hurt then he become my savior, the I was given all my love to him"

"But what's happen? where is he now?"

"He left me for nothing, but my love is already drown into it"

"I love you Mike, really I am but not as much as my love before, I've been falling twice"

"...................."

If love is the spirit that lives simultaneously moving the handle and the handle further direction that directs the pilgrimage of human life, so love is a metaphor for the existence of God. Love is not just a human relation but also a protective, complementary and unifying life it self.

Love is not owned or possessed, as has been enough for the name of love it self. But if man loves with a passion and desires, then humans should melt away, flowing in it and get involved. Only in human life, a perfect love can not be found.