I don't want any runaway from the way I looked even I should stood up in a middle of standing mirror, She always said "be acquainted with your self and be your own fiance in order to cut down your ego and raise all inside of you and yours". But I'd never know the one who talking and whom I'd talk to, realized I'm a big dreamer. Even I'm not a good dreamer but I'm not stupid enough to dreaming what I don't want to or something that I hated. I'm dreaming about thing further than my thought even I got die because of it.
In some way, I woke up in the morning at the mentally hospital, they said I'm not the ordinary human who lives among good people and good guys while me running as the devil who paint an influence that man are just man there are no people. It is hurting me a lot because what I have learned in the past is there were no existences if we were never stand up in past it self, the fact is we lived from the past and we couldn't leave it behind, it following us to this present day.
When I was in the subway station She came to me and asked "Define your self! describe what your needed in life and what is your thought that will bring you to the future". I answered The only and possible thing that I could bring is a pair of sport shoes, and she got mad with me and slapped me down. I couldn't resist the pain even she was invisible. This unknown girl inside my dream was killing me from the future. I don't even has a heart now because waiting for nothing called 'Angel of dream', Her name was Angela anyway. I gave her name when I was five years old.
I couldn't enter the train, people said that the train won't pick me up to the future if I lived in a past, so I should take another transportation to reach my destination. I ran for the last minutes of stopping train but the train was moving too fast, Angela asked me to sit on a chair, a single chair in the side of subway station. She told me to sit and think, but I didn't do that, I slept over hours until the third train which passed in front of me.
I'm late for coming to the future and I never get out from the mentally hospital.
The doctor said I couldn't be able to drive to the nearest bus station because I'd never filled by a gasoline, but I know it was a lie because I'm not a car who needed fuel to move what I need is wheels to move! The doctor think that I'm crazy in fact I'm a normal person while the crazy person are them. Angela was mad of me because I said something bad about the doctor, I knew she was in love with the doctor. But It is my dream, then why the doctor was entering my dream? Woman are surely unpredictable.
Today was a happy day, she's wearing black suit after this time she always wearing white suit as an angel. She look pretty with that dress. I love black specially when a girl wearing black dress it so mysterious and 'dark', I love darkness. Angela said that she was dressing black because of me, she want to impress me and hoping that I can be the man of her dream. but She was my dream, how can she able to dreaming. Is it inside a dream there are more dream within?
I should end this immediately, I should buy a lock and lock my door and my window. Is Angela can walk down the wall? if so then it was just a stupid thing to do, what I should do is buy a glue and put them in front of the door! 'Brilliant' ideas.
This morning the doctor brought me a mirror and gave it to me, he said "get to know each other and after that ask him to dance with you", I was happy that finally I have a friend in this room but then what happen I put the mirror beside my bed and my new friend is always act like I do and it really disturb me. He took my bed, he stand up at where I stand up, until This large room are doesn't enough for both of us, I said to the doctor that I won't dance, He's a man and I'm not a gay.
Angela also mad of me because my new friend was took her too, he speak with Angela and made the same conversation as I do, and Angela wouldn't do that. She was too in love with me, because now she always wearing black dress for my vision pleasure.
This thing won't be over so soon. I should buy a taxi to get some money so then I will buy a pair of shoes to run. Run from the reality.
No comments:
Post a Comment