Finding Words

"Everyday I'm looking for you, I called you inside the rainfall. I asked someone who know you but they didn't know where you are and some people also didn't answer. I was thinking if you would be come back maybe you'll choose to be alone and disappear. "

Mike walking on the pedestrian walk, seeing the day been washed by the rain, moon light falling down crossing the covered cloud, His head was down with a hand holding a paper and a pencil.

"For the next morning I'm going to the library, I just discovered traces of your fingers are still warm on the sheet you just read. a book about love and life. you apparently didn't read the whole soul. Smell kiss sorrow words, a word that you decided to come back."

The phone rang again.

"Mike where are you?"

"Hey Jim, I'm still walking down the street to your place."

"great , come up in a minutes! hurry!"

"can't wait"

Mike put the phone on the left pocket, He's walking crossing the town yard where he can see many couple which walking hand by hand and a love atmosphere under the moonlight. He keep the silent and continue walking try not to care with every body surround him.  

"Then I'm walking to a yard, and searching you under the tree. Under the tree I'm only find a rose that are still wet with tears. the leaves fall, just a flower sprig of white parents supported lined with thorns. I knew you're hurts.

I ran to the shore, but I'd lost your trace of wave licked. you're ashamed of the wave. and another deadlock I founded."

Now he was standing at a huge house, Jim's house! He can hear crowded from the inside, actually he's doesn't like any crowd at all but because Jim is a good friend of him so Mike will respect it by comes to his party. Slowly he opened the door and seeing many people are gathering. some people are taking alcohol to get drunk, some of them dancing following the music "Acid jazz" he was think!. Man holding girl hand, it seems like there's no burden among them.

"Hey, Mike I've waiting for you"

"sorry Jim, it's little bit rain outside"

"It's okay, come on make your self happy, there's a lot of surprise for you"

"Thank's Jim"

Then Jim left him alone, Mike still don't know what to do so he decided to sit at the couch and get some coffee for his drink, take a cigarette and smoke!. "In this crowd I felt very empty". 

He was shocked when a girl mention his name and sat beside him.

"Nicole!"

"Hey Jim, how are you?"

"Fine thanks, how bout everything?"

"Life was great and I could stay away from the past"

"why?"

"That's the consequences of loving too much"

"..................!"

Nicole was smile, and pretend something is never happen between both of them. They are sitting and drink together and took the same cigarette. "God, what should I do?". Then Nicole asking Mike to dance, the smooth jazz was played, Mike couldn't refuse her and followed where Nicole taking him. 

"Until I see you in a diary that I should return to the library and re-arrange it in a book case. on a first page I found a word that make me smile "This is about you" but when I was reading the last page I'm get angry "If I never write about you".

But I still have feeling. I'm my self during during a very short and I found the trail no man's land, where I should looking for you? Why did you take off your wound?

Give me a sign, I'll track you down. Should you come in every my prayer every night, like last night and tonight."

I'm waited inside the rain, in the presence of your shade. If you're away there, sitting on a star that never faded. Are you quiet the same and silent as it seems?

You asked about my belief and my ability but reluctant to go along with my loneliness 

In the middle of the dance, Nicole stopped and holding Mike's hand. then she ask Mike to sit in the couch again. Mike just followed. They were silent now Mike eyes didn't met Nicole eyes, she is deeply silent and just left Mike without a word.

I know you're tired of hiding, you want to give a smile and shout the doubt become a good pretender like it never happens. but if you do come, please sit in the presence of this heart flames. then bring the promises together. we're not going to find each other, we have to meet to begin all the thing. and we will not going anywhere.

Mike tried to catch her and following Nicole, but he didn't found her in the crowd, He's searching all over the place but also the same. Mike couldn't find his love.

In one afternoon I was getting tired. I want to bury your tracks but I couldn't. because you're always there present to stab my feelings and pour it in a love that never end.