The Rain coffee and jazz

[I was stuck in a room called my self, watching my blank screen and my finger won't dance when they play jazz loudly. the trumpet was nice entering my ear and then I'm forgetting my coffee which getting cold and freeze as the black shadow of the night in front of my blank sky.

The rain crossed in a shelter which called crossing the time

when the bass dancing with own ego but inside the rhythm

without sadness or happiness described, beating in rhyme but not heave

Slowly the minor tone knocking without any nervous, closed and flow

The rainfall , a cup of coffee is like an addict thing in the middle of the eyes

They were silent, flat without any sound and the finger was dance above the old piano but melodious 

The soul was filled a deep calmness in the deep ocean without a wave

and time is kept running, slowly but real

Like a thunder of expression which shown a bitter reality

a noise or heavy river flow of a face which painted and then gone 

Once again they were die without ego in enjoying life

not at all questioning about life or love like used to be

Blue atmosphere become a rainbow without dew inside

Like a water they flow from the high to the land

even they must fight with the erosion and eruption

yes indeed they moving forward following the instinct  

Today I must bring a brush with the white ink

fighting with the dark night to raises a tone

minor tone or major not a problem between me and them

just a courage inside the inspiration and dream

without fear and consequences without ask mark

stepping with a nude feet

hearing with heart

Talking above the reality without ego

or feel life once again without asking life or love

and it become a rotation

more and more.....

The Rain, Coffee and Jazz

and I love ....

[The Bass string made me awake from my dream and forgetting tomorrow. the dancing finger above the piano was totally killing me a minutes a head it bring my mind to the second I was standing now, flying without any carrying on my back, its felt like been flushed into recycle bin. while my finger still freeze watching the rain from the distance. I know it won't come today, just a black sky and many blank spot which put me inside the prison of music played and then I called it syncopation and my finger start to dance following the guitars.]

A prisoner of my self prison

Hi my name is "Me" a criminal, I was arrested by a police called "Me". Arrested when I'm tried to break one of human rule which is being other person when I need to be my self.

But one thing I knew then, I was very happy being arrested in the prison which built by my self, I was held inside the room called "HOW COME AND HOW CAN BUILDING?". Inside the room I've learn many things, I was given a lectures about life by my brain and my self conscious mind then for now I'm becoming a person which full of question mark and confused person.

For the first time I thought that I need a chain to tide my mind and it considered because I need a limitation of life for not becoming a wild person who living in a free world and free will.

This prison is fill me more lessons about the past that I've been doing all this time, when I was look around and entered the gate there's a note :

"IF YOU'RE DISLIKE PAST AS A PRISONER, THEN YOU'RE ENTERING A FUTURE TRAP"

The guardian called me also said to me that :

"WE'RE NOT A PRISONER OF THE PAST. PAST WHICH FULL OF SORROW, ROMANTIC PATRIOTISM AND HEROIC THING WHICH WILL BE BETTER IF WE JUST REMEMBER THOSE PAST SO IT ALL WILL BE DIFFICULT FOR APPLYING THOSE THING TODAY"

After I stayed for a long time then I'm moved to other prison because I got remission from "Me".

The new prison was more delighting because the lectures was much much better than former prison. I was given more hope for being a real human.

The main component of this prison is "IF FACTORS", many "If" there. "if we're like this, like that, like those, etc". This if factors also can become a self prison for me but it also full with trap if we're being today, seeing past and forgetting tomorrow. So what I should do is being more wise in this second prison.

When I entered the gates, there's a note :

"WE'RE UNDERSTANDING THAT WE LIVED IN THIS WORLD WITH FULL OF MANY POSSIBILITY. WE HAVE MANY THEORY, WE KEPT THOUSANDS STRATEGY AND WE'RE SMART ON TACTICS AND TRICKS TO MAKE EVERY POSSIBILITY BECOME REAL, AND THAT WAS A REALLY TRUE EFFORT OF US."

Well that note was killing me and gave me a realize that this life is not just a "maybe" and "probably" things. then if we're saying that this life is full of possibility so i guess it caused by the unknown thing of your self, if you're not knowing something real then you'll faced possibility and every unknown things will direct you to a confusion which never end. Unknown things is a limit of think and the confusion was the atmosphere of our heart.

"THINK BUT DO NOT THINK, CONFUSE BUT DO NOT LET CONFUSION"

Being a Human!

Like it was, the time was running continuous without stopped. it not depend to us but sometimes or even every times we're depending on it. we believe on the process goes and running not riding a time but it running beside us, the different is sometimes we're stopped and run and get slower by walking or sometimes we're choosing shortcut by using vehicle to catch the time.

We're living in a huge world called "world" earth, space or even beyond the space. we're so small, and only inside our world which we're creating it we're getting bigger and stronger. Many kind of people, many racial and ethnic surround us, living spread above our earth. Some people choose to be powerful man but some people choose to be ordinary, in this earth we stepped beside we're seen many real thing also we're creating a new world beyond our imagination, developed by our dream, hope and also our imagination of better life. We're dreaming about true love where we must use a sword to beat a dragon to get the beloved, then in other way we're also building a box which surround by bastion to keep the world outside enter to our life some people choose to run from the reality but some people also choose to stand and fight even death in front.

About the option, absolutely it came from their heart and him self off course, with own risk and all the consequences even we also didn't judge our self or make a value of it. some people concern and some people doesn't it it also an option right? we're judging or didn't? but I believe that we're judging to get something that we want as a criteria which we're built, the example is if you need a car, perhaps you already got a criteria then made some option. right??

Human being created with two kind which is a man and woman and that was a mate like God created the night and the noon. one of another is completing like the land and the sea, why? perhaps not a good question to ask why because there is no answer of it beside to understand it why God create us as a mate between man and woman.

Since we're born there's many option among us from what we going to eat until with whom we'll lived with. if it collected maybe a hundred or even a billion option of our life then some people conclude that LIFE IS ABOUT A CHOICE! is it true? if we're looking an essence of human or basic instinct of a human then yes the statement was true. but if we're seeing our life more and more what will you conclude? and what i think is LIFE IS A MATTER OF CHOICE BUT THE IMPORTANT THING IS LIFE IS ABOUT CONSEQUENCES WITH WHAT WE CHOOSE!

why?............

If a baby was given a choice I'll bet he will not choose to born in this world, but it didn't. It become a human process from the beginning till the death come, being a baby, teenagers, get old and die. that was isn't an option so it was a life and all the thing we do is a consequences. if we're choose to be red then what the effect after or maybe we're choose to be black, blue or even not choose anything.

A man choose a wife for his entire life, he choose perfectly that made it as a criteria and wrote it as a wishing list. in his process he will meet many kind of girl then choose one as he think that she was a perfect mate for him, that's a reality which we're able to see it. but then what happens? four years or maybe ten years doing in a relationship with someone which he believed that she's the mate for his life it become a lie, and break in the process the man was found other woman and also the girl was the same. So we're believing that mate in in the God hand. which we're not able to predict it or even make a conclusion of it. 

Human being can made a plans, but the human being plans was none of one per billion of God plans. 

We can't change the destiny, like we're not able to resist for being old. but in other ways we can change our fate with struggling and fight, a man who has big effort to be a rich man then the result is he become a rich man even those are only a plan. That was the truth which happens in our world to choose what we want, but sometimes we also can't resist the destiny if all we want is just a dream for us. so what we should do?

Do the best thing we can do as a physically fighting and struggling and we must add also a pray and given the result to God plans for us. I believed that God create a way which is always the best for us, even sometimes we're met sorrow, blue days or tears but it always has a purpose, we're sad today to get stronger tomorrow, we're fail to get learn the failure and get the success. that also the truth if we're understand about it.

Yes, there are many intrigue and critical or even heartache in the process of being human, but it also awareness which God given to us so the next day we're able to handle it! right? 

How we deal with our self? how we able to control our self without harm others? how we accept this life as a gift from God? etc...etc... and more

but anyway we choose to be our self! so describe your self to your own mirror not my mirror!!! okay dude....!

story between the rainfall

Toba's lake

"courage is egoism of a human which settle in our heart, and if it balance with logic then courage will become what we are which live in our self will without others"

     This is my others journey on the exploring other side of Indonesia, and this time I went to Padang Sidimpuan, South Tapanuli, North Sumatera. I want to shared this story because inside I found many thing new and also in this trip it was a challenging trip between life and death and also new lesson for me.

     My journey to this place is using a commercial plane from Jakarta to Medan and continued by a small plane to Aek Godang airport - South Tapanuli. On the way to Aek Godang airport I was crossing Toba lake, and it was a wonderful view I ever met from the top and made me realize how beautiful is our earth.

I'm staying at one of Hotel at Padang Sidimpuan to take a rest before the next day which is a long journey to climb one of mountain around South Tapanuli. The next day at the dawn I'd start my climbing with six others, which is my self and the others was a local civil as my porter and my path direction.

     After two hours we were climb for the first hill, one of civilian is gave up and to tired to continued the journey so he we decided to sent him back to the village, so only five of us who continued the climbing. (because a certain reason I don't need to mention the name of the mountain because this is not a story a bout the mountain. this is the story of my experience... okay dude?!).

The river

     Five hours after we're climb and pass the first hill (my GPS in showed that we have been walked for 10 kilometers) I found a river which it very clear and a lot of fish there, so we're decided to stop and fishing to get a lunch. well coffee is still the main course for us to help us getting  new energy for the next climb, because one of my porter said after the river we'll meet a heavy route which has tilt about 40-60 degrees, the route also will not easy to climb because it's very green and many huge tree, bush and a swamp that we must pass through.

   

Fish we catch

One of my porter also said that at the river is the last placed that phone signal available, so he suggest me to contact someone or someone that I loved, he said that inside of the forest we'll never know what is going to happen with us because this forest is a green area which inside of it there's many wild animal, he mention the Sumatran Tigers, Bears, and animal likes rhino but it's not rhino, it very dangerous if it met us because the saliva was an acid who will melt or destroyed if the animal spit on it plus thousand leech which hungry of human blood. He also mentioned a primitive people called "Lesso" which is an original occupant of the jungle who can made people lost in that forest with the magic.

I was so shocked listened of all what we're faced in front, but I have no others choice and kept move on, considering how dangerous thing we'll meet at the jungle so I took my cell phone even I didn't know who I should contact.

Misty forest in the morning

     On the top of the second hill which is about 20 kilometers according to my GPS, we're shocked because we're found a house in the middle of a jungle and a real man I meant man in our kind. After we had a little chat and describe what is our purpose then we decided to stay at his place because it already 06.00 pm. There's no lamp there only a bright view of the sky and many animal sound which heard from the distance.

     After one hours we're took a rest at his cottage, the sky was getting dark and the rain was drop heavily. I was wander why a man like him is stayed at a place of no where, then it became a conversation between us, He was at my ages around 30th years old and he told me a story why he decided to stay at that place.

Five years ago he was stayed at Medan city, the capital city of North Sumatra, He also graduated from a famous college there, he was staying alone there because his parent is already died. When he graduated from the college he was met a girl which after he was think that she was a real mate for him. so he was fully struggling to get what he loved and also to get his heart happiness, but the girl was never loved him, for almost two years he was struggle and struggle to get her attention and hoping that she will loved him, but that's not the fact, the girl was in loved with somebody else.
He believed that the love that he felt is true and pure, so he kept it even he only stare from the distance and kept the feeling inside Every day he prayed in purpose that God will shown the ways but till the days his heart more and more believed that it was a true love even he can't belonging her as a mate.

      He kept that heart and always tried the best thing that he can't do to get her love, but at the second years the girl was died at a car accident which her boyfriend.

Rainbow in the evening

That time he was very depressed and stressful because he lost his love, almost everyday he came to her grave to said that he loved that girl truly and un conditionaly. but then he was thought it a wasting time and too late so he decide to search a new place for being alone and make his love feeling immortal, he don't wanna grow his love feeling to another woman. he choose this jungle to lived and made his love buried around the forest.
I asked why he choose a forest to made it eternal meantime it can do at the city, because it just about a heart and his heart, I'd also said that is the same with suicide and a foolish thing because it torture our self with the loneliness. He answered if he lived at the city where he can met other people, the future maybe will different, maybe as time goes he will meet the other girl and start to forget the former love, and he didn't want it happens.

[listened that answered... what I'm doing is just kept my silence.....and thought, what is really true love? is it releasing or kept the love till we die?!! so i guess that was a matter a principal]. but the confused thing is he also said that love also releasing but in other way true love also is a true sincerity between us and our heart, he said with his decision to stayed at that place it not called torture or a suicide but it the way of life, because he also believe that mate is in the hands of God, so he was thinking if God send a mate for him then some other time maybe it will be came by it self to this jungle or along his journey of life, so before that time is came he was planned to kept his love to the former girl. [confused...right]

That night the rain drop very heavily and I couldn't slept because thing that we're discussed that night. 

     I was slept only for two hours and prepared for the next climb to the third hill. we're carrying what only we needed for the climb and the rest is leaved at that man place. because we're planned after we get back the climb we're gonna stayed at his place again.

me and my coffee

     The days was rain and we kept to continued the climbing because we have a limited time to finished the journey so in the middle of the rain we're started to climb the valley with using a rope because the route was very slippery which full by the rocks around and un stabilize soil which can cause land slide in every step we'd take. we're climbed to the top of the hill with many risk and what I'm doing is surrender my self to God because every single time is valuable for me to get on top immediately, the rain can caused land slide and flood, so it was a big risk we got. The rock are fragile and it's huge on the top of the hill and it can be slide anytime. but thank God finally we made it standing on the top of the hill which I thought I've finished climb it, but it didn't... in front of us more wall to climb and it's higher than before, i watched my back is a deep cliff and in front of me is a high wall...

"Here I'm now, standing between life and death

surrender to All Mighty with my last power to move forward

dancing with my own rain

facing my path forward a high wall to climb, where I'd put my hope on it

and when I look backward, it full of sorrow as deep of the cliff

remembering all my sin which I have been through

remembering love which gave me courage and also a fear"

     

     With the rest of all my power, then we're climb that wall. and we made it even when I climb to that wall my cell phone and my compass was dropped. but yes we made it to stay alive and finished our climb. but it hasn't stopped because we're worried to came back because my compass is dropped also my GPS which suddenly didn't work. I was thinking that we're gonna lost at the jungle.

     The rain still fall heavily, my porter said that we must get down soon before the flood is came. So we're moving fast and running with the time, even we're didn't have any direction, we're moved forward following the wind. The time is already 07.00 pm and it's very dark, we're kept moving without the light. four hours we moved, our guidance that time only a sound which made by a man who lived at where we're stay, he made a voice very loud and it sound like a whisperer for us to follow that voice. Eight hours we're walking and finally we're made it to reach that man cottage. 

     That man said to me, he made that sound to scared all the animals and a thing that we didn't knew inside of the forest, and also he said to me that inside of me, there's a love which I haven't expressed and that's which helping me to get out from the wild forest. [is it true???............. well I never knew it].

Toba's Lake

well that's my experience for the last weekend! I'm learn many thing inside.
It not shown the way to loving or follow the man to kept the love feeling and buried it someplace but the point is, love is a soul for us also a spirit for us even sometime it get tricky and a beautiful lie.
then....
when you're saw you're self in between, you're able to look what is deep inside of you and what is the regretful thing that you ever done.

but that's all only one of love story in this world which we never predict and describe... still be a confused thing!

to see more photos visit http://wordsonlife.webs.com/apps/photos/ or http://www.facebook.com/media/albums/?id=800375418

The fellowship of Coffee and Jazz

     We lived in a world called earth where everybody is staying above with enough water and the sun which always given spirit for the next tomorrow. As a human we can't live alone that's why God create us in a couple, a man pairs with woman days pairs with the night and many thing that we'll never able to count all that given by God. but beside we're as a human with the pairs also we lived as social creature which there a union of people which lived above this earth. There's many racial and ethnic of the people which also I couldn't count how many it is.
     We lived as a civilization, where there's a leader, common people, extra ordinary people and also some selfish people. depend which side you're? It's your decision what you want to be. a leader, a beggar or anything else in this earth.
     We make a friend with the others, we also loving the others but you didn't know the opposite. It a wonderful thing to be lived in this world as human being with the egoism and the socialism. Intrigue, a problem even a war could happen because of difference, opinion, principal of life or even occupation and oppression. yes that was very easy happen in this world, shame right? why we couldn't have a peaceful world. There's a maxim said If "the war which could make people smart and war caused by difference". is that true? In some thought maybe yes, a war which become booster of one side to be win among the others. but that's not the point of all, the point is HOW WE LIVE IN DIFFERENCE!


Well I'd tell you about the coffee.

     Coffee is a thing which found and destiny as a drink and everyone knew about it, Coffee is bitter and in some part of human who dislike coffee is labeled as an addict thing as the drugs or cigarette which has caffeine or nicotine and that can cause damages to the brain. well in some part I'd agree with that but in other part why we can't be think positive about this coffee.

     Coffee is content of many vitamin in there, coffee has an anti - oxidant which help our body dispose of substances harmful to the body radicals which destructive to the molecules damages cells (DNA). and yes we're also not suggest to drink it excessive. but it's a normal thing right? everything which is excessive is always not good!. so just think in a positive ways.
    As Philosophy coffee called a master of life principal, why? because a coffee is gave us a vision about life! "a strength never came from the joy, a strength came from a long suffer which faced with calm". read again that maxim and I think you would understand.
Yes indeed coffee is bitter but it also teach us with the bitterness to see our life, our bitter life. but the bitter is only a moment for the time being, after we able to understand the bitterness than you'll not able to taste bitter again in fact you'll addict on it and become a great power of life.
     In our life coffee can be match with anything to enjoy it, for an example coffee with cigarette, coffee with bread, coffee with dangdut music, coffee with Rock music, etc.
and I would choose JAZZ as a mate for my coffee, why?
yes we're being taught of the bitterness by the coffee, how we seen our life and how we seen the world, a harmful world which contain more war and difference. Sometime we're forgetting something that the world also could be beautiful and amazing as our vision seeing a beautiful place around the world. Then Jazz trying to balance it between the bitterness and how we seen our self as a peaceful soul in a jazz music.
In my thought we don't need to know the musician to understand the Jazz right? as long as we're able to enjoy it and penetrate with what the music saying.

     Yes it's Jazz, it a swing Jazz, Acid Jazz or any kind of Jazz. it's a life.
     For some people might be it's hard to understand jazz music, but jazz is not to be understand. just penetrate with it and you'll know the meaning. but also not the meaning of jazz it self, its the meaning of YOU and HOW YOU LOOK INTO YOUR SELF!. 
     a Smooth jazz brought you into the calming place ever! then you'll forgetting the bitterness and a deep relaxing atmosphere. a Fusion jazz made you moved, yes it's the sound to make you more comfortable with your own life whether what path did you choose in your life, etc.
This is the perfect fellowship between THE COFFEE AND JAZZ..... you don't need to understand it just a simple thing on your way that mentioning many thing that you never predict at all.


so lets drink coffee under the jazz atmosphere folks!......

Heartache

      I'm a photographer but I'm not a commonly photographer, I'm using my eyes to capturing all the moment and kept it inside of my hard disk called brain inside my head. I didn't know what is the operating system of my body but it sound so perfectly built by many variety speed and thought.

      There's someone who decide to be a lawyer or to be a farmer in their life so I guess the software been planted is already prepared since we're planned to be made. Amaze right?

I have to arm which lifting a cup of coffee and pour it into my mouth, perfectly handle by my finger which hold on the grip and lifted as a control from my control room also called brain. I didn't know many many Psi is the lifting but it calculated by the control room and send it into neuro system and gave and order to lift since the arm or finger started to move. 

      In normal condition we need a calibrate our tool to make it perfectly move, it made to be static or dynamic. but for this arm case is different, it is so dynamic and able to control. where we must put our hand or when we must pointing our finger on something or also when we must doing something which is a very fast reflect (accelerate) from mind order to our hand. 

      After the coffee was poured into our mouth then it tasted by our tongue to describe what is the taste, if it bitter then tongue gave the brain a short message which came very fast and receipt it by brain and then the brain gave another order to follow up the message. maybe throw up? or maybe send order to the eyes to search a sugar around and put it on the coffee or something that inside our conscious. 

That is an anatomy of our perfect body which I couldn't mention one by one the perfectness and the amazing of our body is.

      Heart? what about heart? is it also amazing like the others? the answer is yes, the same perfectness! Sometimes I think we must learn those perfectness to become someone who grateful to all what God given to us include our perfect body. so lets talk about heart!

     Heart is a symbol of love, Love is something that un predictible and also hard to understand the meaning, there's many version of Love, Love from someone to someone, from Someone to something, or someone to His creator (God loves) and many thing that happens in this world. We're able to loving outside from us and given to others or something but sometimes we're forgetting to loving our self, loving our heart which produce love, why? hey don't ask me.... ask to your self!

Read this logic thing : 

a physical hurt can be cured because there's many doctors in this world even physical for the heart it self

a pain inside the mind also there are mentally hospital who can help you from oppressed 

then heartache? is difficult to answer right except giving back all the problem to The Mighty One (God) 

That are an example how difficult we are to understand our self but it also not to difficult if we knows how to handle our heart. 

"by balancing our heart, mind, soul also our body". really????

let see, Some people said that love doesn't have logic! why yeah we're admitted it that love can defeat all, a man can do everything to get attention from the women he loved including being stupid and being absurd!  

and if the woman was rejecting him then what happen?? TOTAL HEARTACHE!! right?? 

so what should we do to make this heartache become minimum and less the damages because of it?

logic: if the car tyres not balanced or spooring there will be un balance! right?

so the thing we should do is make this unity become balance between Mind, heart, Soul and Body... how??

How... it's your turn to answer by your self and ask it to your self!!! enough with me! 

why? yeah everybody has own way to make it balance, some people do it in a religious ways, some people also doing that in a ways that we never predict before... there's many ways to do that.

what I'm doing is given you the key and which doors you want to open it. is up to you !!

don't push me to tell you what you should do! if you're heartache then..... EAT!!!! hahahahaha

Belalang dan senyawa asam [re-post]

ditempat jauh ku berdiri tak nampak ilalang yang tegar

semua merangkak tertiup angin senja beralih terang menuju gelap

diujung palung terdalam pun gelombang air dalam tak beriak hanya melaju ke permukaan

sementara di padang tandus memandang jernih cinta sepasang merpati di angkasa

aku meminum asam lebih dari dua gelas hari ini maka semakin legam aku

bahkan tak pernah ku melompat, kakiku tertahan didahan yang tak juga mau mati bekas erupsi

seharusnya kucari si jangkrik biar berderik kritis menghujat

namun alam menyetarakan ku sebagai kutu loncat dengan sepatu pegas baruku

kenapa aku bernama belalang sementara ilalang berganti kolam limbah

sekali lagi aku mandi di endapan asam hingga kerongkonganku kering

tak ada betina bahkan kaum marjinal yang memapahku

sepertinya sepatu yang ku beli di pasar uler sudah rusak, aku tak bisa berdiri kini

tapi ini sepertinya bukan kesalahan sepatu yang ada, tapi kedua kakiku melepuh terbakar amarah

ternyata belalang tak bisa memakai dasi

aku terikat dipermukaan daun kering yang masih enggan mati

aku rindu sirup buatan ibuku sebagai penghidang buka puasa

bukan secawan larutan asam yang kudapat dari kolam limbah di sepanjang kali yang menyertai Daan mogot

mungkin aku akan bercita sebagai tukang cendol

beristri perempuan yang juga tukang cendol

biar semalam kuhabiskan romansaku dengan pedagang cendol perempuan itu

sial!... aku hanya belalang

The Joker's Love

       Yesterday I have a dream for not being a superman where my identity was hiding from reality it shown only a strength to facing the untruth or fighting the right thing, for this now can I dream about a joker with the smile face? a character which is an enemy to one superhero called Batman. An ordinary human which has a gift as a rich man so he afford to built his own character as a superhero. but can he called a superhero? I don't know! well now on I'm a joker with the smiley face and it's about me.

       Joker it mean someone who always make a joke of thing in his life, for entertaining or for some else purpose to make something cheerful, but I'm not a comedian who made an entertaining joke to make a money or for expression. In every single thing I do I made it fun and cheers even for evil, I was enjoying become The joker which I'd never found any sorrow or a blue night. everyday I was enjoyed my life, there's nothing on my mind except how to laugh and make a joke about me or anyone else surround me.I'm not an artist but I'm a joker for my self which made always have a joke for everything in my life include love of my life.

      Once I've met a girl named Eve, well She's hot and I think every man who seeing her will be falling love with her or even a class like Freezer (one of enemy of Batman) who has a cold heart (real meaning) is also able to falling love with this girl!. I met her when I was made a plan to  defeat Batman in one of City Garden of Gotham city. That time I was thinking to make a laugh gas but that time I didn't know the formula so that night I went to City garden with hiding my identity and sat at the corner of fountain. That night was so quietly, I wandered what formula I should collect to made a laugh gas until after 1 hours I'm sitting there I found a smell which made me interest to follow those smell. But did you know what I found that time? I found a girl which bathing on one of fountain around the city garden, within the pool she was naked and many weird plant growing around her which produce a very good smell. I think I'm being hypnotic that time, I couldn't resist it so I came to her and she said to me something which I didn't hear, she was whispering how to defeat Batman together and also she ask me to become one of her assistant and off course I'd agree because I couldn't release the hypnotize even I awaken and conscious.

      I couldn't laugh or make a joke that time and it's really hurting me, my smiley face is become useless because now it turning flat and I didn't know my self again, I felt hurt inside my mind then I was told her that I have a plan to make a laugh gas and she was asking whether those gas can make a dead body smile or not and I answered yes. She was agreed and told me to made the formula with her recipe, She knew the formula because she was PHD in saint. Within two days I have finished the formula and prepared it to Bomb Batman cave but Eve was told me to hang on because there's something need to do first before I gave the gas to Batman, then She's asked me to go with her to went inside the tunnel beyond the Gotham city.

I was like a puppy which followed the master that time, I'm really conscious that time, I was very suffer because my mind is telling me this is a wrong way to finished my mission mean while my heart telling me that this is love and I must followed, so I'd following her and defeat my logic as a joker to become a love servant.

      After we're arrived at one block of that tunnel I can fell my body is turning cold and finally I found out that Eve was planning to meet The Freezer. Even my mind was conscious but I'm also knew that my heart was falling deep to Eve, I don't know it cause by her poison or not but I'm very sure that I love  her very much!

      Freezer is has a wife, a death wife which been frozen inside of the aquarium. Freezer was hoping that He will not buried his wife until he able to make his wife is smile, because his believe if someone dead with un-smiled face then she will go to hell (weird believe). but then I realized that Eve want to give that gas to Freezer to make his wife smiled. And then I'd also knew that Eve was falling love to Freezer but her poison is didn't work for freezer and Eve knows if she could made Freezer wife is smile then Freezer will buried his wife and turn to love Eve. I want to runaway that time but I couldn't Eve was tied me up with her plant which followed her where she go.

     They both are talked and I can't heard anything that time but I could seen when Eve gave the bomb to Freezer, after they're talked then I can see Freezer was put the laugh gas near by his wife and KABOOOOM! The gas was blew.Eve and freezer was wearing a mask so both of them didn't get the effect.

What happen next? yes Freezer's wife is smiled and He was very happy and decide to buried his wife and forgot all the memories and started a love life with Eve. Meanwhile ME!? because of my bomb is effected full to me, I'm un-concious for 3 days and awaken found my self became insane and my smiled face became permanent.

     And since that time I never believe my heart and I never believe any love! I'm just me who laughing for my self and laughing my stupidity for being un-balance between mind and heart!

(Tomorrow when I have a chance to dream again, then I don't wanna dream as The joker!)

Tanda Tanya (?)

     Jika kau bisa melukiskan TANDA TANYA mungkin dari setengah hidupmu kau akan menghabiskan waktumu dengan bertanya. Dengan bertanya maka engkau tidak akan sesat dijalan, begitu kira-kira pepatah bilang, tapi bertanya terhadap apa juga tidak disebutkan. Ada juga yang berpendapat JANGAN TANYA tapi mengertilah terlebih dahulu, sedangkan bagaimana pula kita mengerti kalau "hal" tersebut tidak dijelaskan yang akhirnya ya mau tidak mau harus ditanyakan.

     Tanda tanya memang bukan sebuah fenomena atau sebuah kejadian fantastis yang harus kita telaah lebih dalam, bahkan juga kita tidak harus bertanya kenapa TANYA ADA TANDANYA (?) well... satu hal lagi yang kemudian membingungkan untuk ditelaah, tapi mungkin bukan terletak pada tanda tanyanya yang harus kita pelajari karena tanya adalah sebuah bahasa sedangkan tanda adalah sesuatu simbol yang digunakan untuk mempermudah bahasa (setidaknya itu yang aku tahu). lalu apa yang harus kita tanyakan (?) tuh... kan tanda tanya lagi.

     Kenapa harus kita pertanyakan (?) mungkin saja karena kita ingin tahu! lalu kenapa kita ingin tahu (?) ya juga mungkin karena supaya kita mendapat manfaatnya! terus kemudian apa jika tidak mendapatkan manfaatnya kita kemudian menyesal bertanya (?) berhenti sampai disini!

     Sepertinya juga tanda tanya ini kemudian banyak menjadi masalah, karena bahasa itu sendiri bersifat global dimana semua orang memakainya. Kenapa ada bahasa (?) karena itu cara kita berkomunikasi, lalu kenapa kita perlu berkomunikasi (?) karena kita tidak bisa hidup sendiri, lalu kenapa kita tidak bisa hidup sendiri (?) karena kita adalah mahluk sosial, lalu kenapa kita adalah mahluk sosial (?) dan bla...bla...bla... sebuah rangkaian pertanyaan yang sangat panjang, walaupun nantinya akan berakhir dengan karena kita ciptaan Tuhan. mungkin akan adalagi pertanyaan, kenapa kita diciptakan (?) dan semakin panjang lagi pertanyaan-pertanyaan yang akan timbul. 

     Sebuah simbol filsafat digambarkan dengan orang yang sedang berpikir, tapi jika kita mempunyai pertanyaan "SEBENARNYA DIA MEMIKIRKAN APA (?)" dan juga pertanyaan yang tidak pernah berakhir, yang kemudian memunculkan banyaknya persepsi-persepsi yang juga di barengi dengan pro ataupun kontra terhadap persepsi itu, sebutlah teori darwin dan lain-lain. 

     Pertanyaan yang sangat mudah dicerna bagi kita sebagai seorang awam mungkin bisa digariskan seperti ini. Aku cinta kamu, kamu cinta aku tidak (?) sebelum pertanyaan tersebut terjawab ada beberapa pertanyaan yang mungkin timbul, contohnya : kenapa kamu cinta aku (?) karena aku merasa cocok denganmu, kenapa kamu punya perasaan seperti itu (?) karena saat aku dekat denganmu aku merasa nyaman, kenapa kamu nyaman sama aku (?) karena kamu bisa mendengarkan semua masalahku, kenapa hanya aku mungkin yang lainnya juga bisa dengar (?) karena hanya kamu yang aku temui, kenapa kamu tidak bertemu dengan orang lain (?) dan....juga bla...bla...bla....bla.... ternyata pertanyaan seesimple ini juga ada turunannya.

     Kita ganti subject sepertinya. jangan tentang cinta, terlalu jauh dan akan menimbulkan pertanyaan-pertanyaan berikutnya.

Kenapa aku menulis (?) karena aku senang menulis, kenapa kamu hanya senang menulis (?) karena itu yang aku lakukan untuk mengekspresikan jiwaku, kenapa lewat tulisan, kenapa engga lewat media lain (?) karena menulis paling gampang, kenapa gampang (?) karena aku tinggal menuliskannya diblog, kenapa menuliskannya di blog (?) karena biar gampang diakses dimana saja, kenapa butuh mengakses (?) karena biar suatu saat nanti aku bisa baca kembali, kenapa kamu perlu baca kembali (?)...... woooow ternyata sama juga belum selesai dengan pertanyaan dan pertanyaan berikutnya.

     Sepertinya ini juga tidak akan beres sampai disini. Namun dari beberapa pertanyaan dalam hidup kita entah itu pertanyaan objeektif terhadap sesuatu ataupun pertanyaan terhadap diri kita pada akhirnya sumber yang bertanya dan menjawab adalah diri kita sendiri yakni APAKAH KITA AKAN BERTANYA (?)

kemudian juga diri kita menjawab SAYA TIDAK AKAN BERTANYA! tapi stop sampai disini saja karena pertanyaan berikutnya akaan menghadirkan pertanyaan berikutnya dan berikutnya yang juga tidak akan kunjung selesai dan bahkan KITA TIDAK AKAN PUAS UNTUK BERTANYA. walaupun sebetulnya lebih baik bertanya daripada berasumsi tanpa alasan yang jelas. dan pada akhirnya kita menyerah pada kondisi YA SUDAHLAH!!! begitupun dengan saya sekarang APA BEDANYA BERTANYA untuk hari esok yang saya jalani jika saya bisa menikmatinya, tapi kemudian jangan tanya juga kenapa saya menikmatinya (?) tentu juga tulisan ini tidak akan berakhir!!

kenapa (?) benar-benar tulisan TIDAK JELAS!!! kenapa tidak jelas (?) karena ga jelas apa juntrungannya, kenapa baca (?) daripada engga ada!, kenapa mengeluh (?) MENEKETEHEEEEEE!!!!!!!

(SAKIT KEPALA!!!!!!!)

Oscar and the philosophy

      Oscar's oasis is an animated film which production by TeamTO and Tuba Entertainment from France ans south korea.
       This movie is about Oscar the Lizard and the Trio (Harchi, Popy and Buck) which are lost in the middle of a desert, all of them are trying to survive and above all to not die from boredom. The conditions for survival are therefore: find water, find shade, find something to eat, find something to do. all the action was packed in a funny condition and those many stupidity which able to make us laugh.
     If we're able to learn what is inside you'll be find many philosophy there. So from this film I try to make an other version in my version without hi-jacking the original version.

     Hi... My name is Oscar, and I am a lizard. I'm living in a desert at somewhere which I don't know where or when or why even I know my self as a lizard because my friend and the creator told me to be a lizard. I don't have a friend here in this place specialize on my species but I have many competitor at the desert which it become an interesting thing and also become a hate for me.  
     Everyday is a struggle for me, the first scene of me always shown that I was hungry and a noisy stomach which it mean "I NEED SOME FOOD". then in that scene always shown there's a food but always be limited or sometimes it also  a weird thing. When i found a food there always an intrigue happens between me and the trio. I never became a winner but i'm also never be a looser. That condition is not an performing act which been set it up to be like that, it's more than to know how we seen to our life, how we struggle and how we fight to be a winner even it is not a competition and the saddest thing is we laugh on it. 
     Surviving is become a basic instinct of every kind of creature but how we're able to survive is the most important thing to made our way become a rule which we're obey or not to obey on it. Sometimes we're bored with all the condition around us and watch our own other scene! when I found a ball and I want to play with it in purpose to dump all my boring thing, but did you know what happens? an interest "thing" will always not easy for us to get!. see how The trio tried to catch me because I got their ball! it's fun..... and it's also a struggle!

     Sometimes I'm confused with that trio! how come Buck and Harchi is obedient with Poppy.. Silly isn't??? whereas Harchi is a hyena ( I think) and Buck is a vultures which in real life they are a strong and scary creature at least that was my thought, They are afraid with poppy the fox. well it doesn't make sense in a real life until I know why...
it all because of love! Harchi is a male also Buck but poppy is a female even the only female in every scene. Those two creature always give up to Poppy and give everything they want to or even they needed. It showing to us how powerful a love can defeat a powerful thing in this life isn't? Silly but true!
They would do anything for Poppy even they willing to be hit and suffer to make Poppy happy. Poppy also crafty, She never care with these to guys if Poppy got a food or drink, she finished it silently and always take it all without   residual for Harchi and buck. WOOW WHAT A LIFE!
     But yes indeed we're struggling for our survive to loose our bored and our need to eat. and as you know IT'S LIFE. we need to get cruel to get what we want. but it also not a point of this! it is how we look into a life among us. even my self as a lizard knowing this! well still I'm a lizard with a common sense of fight "HOW TO EAT and WHERE I CAN GET!".

but overall this is only a short mind of Oscar who could made me laugh out loud in every scene showed!.....LOL

     

Rhythm of Bass

My name is BASS and every sound of me is a symphony full of courage and something fun, I never cried as a sad song which played in the blue air. I do feel love when a rhythm is started over the rain and as an orchestra I've many sound which fill up the atmosphere of enjoying life, a struggle and even in a quiet situation, but I'd never play sorrow.

When I was made by my creator, I was given a destiny to make a sound of resound and a beat round sound like "O" letter spelled. well I'm not the superior in a symphony orchestra or even in a Band but I'm completely the rhythm and made it as melodic harmonic of a music. I do often played solo as a major in front of the stage but I do humble sitting back just to follow where's the drum beat like a tap-tap dance.
A Big arms and big string made me as a power where someone hold it it become something superior even my notes is just on one by one finger played but it still be a summary of harmonic. a simple life of me and a rich melodic of me.

It's true I'm a dancer, when you heard my finger is tapping on the string then you'll dance to follow the rhythm and even you'll be able to forgot all the things happens in your life! a little absurd isn't? but this is the way how we looking life through a music. then hell yeah I'm a JAZZ PLAYER!

I'm played about MY LIFE! where this is my sound of my heart and YOU CAN'T COMPLAIN ABOUT IT. My finger is played LOVE OF MY LIFE within the string which resound at the atmosphere and it also came from MY SOUL. I'm to be what I am inside of harmony not for a present of a drum of any other musical devices.
because I'm a TAP DANCE which doing a HIP DANCING on the floor and LAUGHING about MY LIFE. The sound of my freedom my expression and also my will, would you listen of that?

Behind the orchestra I'm just a complement of the sound but if you notice, inside of me there's a SOUL OF A SONG. also for a MINOR life inside of my head its BEATING like wave sound and made all head banging!

Well I guess I'll playing the solo to cheer up the blue night! because forever I'M FALLING IN LOVE with my sound and I'll made you falling your love NOT TO ME! just to falling love in your self in harmony.

You'll be a star behind the stage within complement to your dream instead and it always be nothing in your life, then I'll borrow my finger to you so you'll do a Tap dance above the drum beat of JAZZ and a humming sound which resound from the JAZZ SINGER!.

Let me enjoy the night to cover up your pain the fellowship of the LIFE. so will you resound to made your self as a cheerful TAP DANCE? even it inside the rain of the silent night? if doesn't I'll do the BANANA DANCE and made my string SUPERIOR to be the one of your life and made it a HARMONY of your life.

about love? we'll played NEXT NIGHT when you already forgotten about your yesterday life. and found the melodic to sang and to write above the sky.

The eclipse

illustration

The moon was swallowed by black color step by step, every single minutes my eyes couldn't take it away from those view, an amazing view and beautiful art made by God when you realize that was a Mighty of God.
Well now... I had a story about the moon.

Moon shown his beautiful because of the Sun and the night, Absolutely the night was dark symbolize as darkness inside our self but the Moon is gave his bright and true color without you notice to fulfill the darkness with an essential light which you never knew the purpose or any of it.

One day The Moon is complaining to the Sun and ask

"Hey, Sun why you're so bright? meanwhile I'm only got your little light when nightfall why I couldn't be so bright as yours?"

Then the Sun is answered

"If you had a bright light as I do, then you'll never be a beautiful as now on. I gave you a little light for you to become a shade for anyone who watching you that is a perfect rotation when I am will not be able to come together with you.
You're not my representative or change the thing meanwhile I am took a rest but everything is been set up as it should going"

The Moon was confused, Then the Sun is told him something

"The nature has give you own color to be bright, in a silent night and a whispered wind you become dominant to them because you're much much bright than the others,
If you also show on the daylight, how come you'll be beautiful as now?"

The Moon was understand and start to walking around and placed where it should be, which is at the silent night make a fellow with the star and the dark night.
After more than a years The Moon is become arrogant and didn't care with others until came one night which we called an eclipse.
The Moon was panic and asked to the sky

"Why you're swallowing my light? I have a duty to bright the night earth and become beautiful cause of it"

The sky is answered,

"It is not me who swallowed you, it is your position who made you're swallowed to showing that every beautiful thing could be gone in a minutes,
like a days where there's a light also came a night which following you from behind and off course every hope and dream is to be better as before, it also happen to you, where a bright will not be always bright even a minutes"

The Moon now is fully understand and taking his position again as a bright one at the silent night.

ilustration

(while watching the total moon eclipse from the roof at this time)

human disorder

I'm living at the edge called in between, my position where I am standing now is full of choice where I should stand up a whole night or where I must walk to.

I am a sign of un-discipline human being to torching this mother earth and spoiling all the rule who tied me as an ordinary man. my edge is a long the river, flowing like there's no hope and dream just to be it self. an arrogant decision which I've made to be a man last standing in the garbage room. waiting for my grave and digging with my own hopes and dreams.

Where I'd stand now is something that you'll never argue bout that because you never concern of that just pretend you never see me and faraway you are wearing a mask to shake my hand.

Then call my name as a trash outside of my humanity, I don't have a body to carry my soul. I'm just a mind and flowing with the wind, a garbage smell which piercing the nose and entering the love of humanity environment.

I am an emotion of human greediness where I forgot where I lived, where I stand now it just a materialistic dialog which I've been prepared for my self own ego! for my environment I'd never care!

so what am I? am I only human basic instinct which want to own the world without all the cause???

The best thing to be me is you and without you, I filled my days or even years now is full by you name crafted under the sign of my mind but also after this years you are never exist inside my mind, there's no your present as your self as I seen you all that long.

you whom pretending as human as a love of me. love inside of me and also a hate of me!
please tell me what I am now?

reflection on memories

Braga street - Bandung

While the memory is remaining to backward the time, there's a power who kept pulling back to straight moving on as a dream and as a hope which containing of something that we'll never understand as a Mighty power belong to God.

Something to be learn as loved we felt before and felt down so many times until it growing bigger and much bigger.
Here we're standing in front of time full of fear and doubt of many thing forward.

The time is not getting faster or slower it always continues even move second by second it it keep moving like we never be able to understand why the time couldn't stop. but that was not a real question right?

Listen the sky which falling through the rain. is it ever complain when the sky getting dark and the light is moved from where it belong and the atmosphere become wet like a crying sky? no... it never complain because time is only moving forward and by that we're forgetting the bad memory inside and make a new page of life within the same book we got.

Asia afrika street - Bandung

Some people said yesterday are sorrow and tomorrow are dream so why we can't be this day? why we can't be this minutes who continue our life as the time ticking?. Isn't an understanding thing to life but how we through the best life we walked ever.

Not to become a superman or supergirl in our days but more to become a human with an essential to love and loving also loved. Being an ordinary man with all decision we made in our life without regret something.

To become a zero point of someday in our life is difficult, it could be a dream or memory that we couldn't forget about it. it maybe cause of love, life or something hurt even something that make us happy about it. but our life is not containing one or two days which flowing from sunday to sunday. It not like a seasonal wind which blew from north to south or east to west but it stabilize on a time that we never be to change it.

We're forgetting our self to become somebody else or we're forgetting some one else to make our self as a priority, We able to love but we're forgetting to be loved, We're able to judge people but we never want to make a communication to fix the judge. so what we are? an human essential or only a shade of being human and enjoy to become a human being?

Asia afrika street - Bandung

We're often to un-recognize our self when we're facing a blind love who beat the mind and make everything seems under control, in fact we're spoiling thing from inside and become a huge damages of our self.
We're become a robot who walked because of an order and a program which told us not to stop and continue our life faster than time or slower than time. it slowly become hate inside our self and a shoes to runaway from the fact that we're too afraid to facing this life.

Braga Street - Bandung

 
We're attend for win and glory, a prestige who teach us become a selfish human being without seen every bodies surround us. We didn't made a rule by our self instead our civilization made that rule.

How you look into your self when you seen your self as a damages thing and it getting die someday?
Don't turn back to see your behind, just felt what you have done as a memory to keeping you as a struggling creature to fight the world.

Then you become a fragile thing, you felt as victim of this world. You feel everybody is trying to hurt you. but did you ever look your self inside? what did you do until this all happen to you? I bet you wouldn't...

Yes that fragile we're like a tears which drop at the evening sun, how weak we're and how coward we're to admit that we're nothing in front of God. we're arrogant and superior in this world to has own love to belonging something that we're attend to, no matter what. everybody is killing others to collect all he want. and those time which will make us to dig our memory of what we are and who we are.

Merdeka's Building Asia Afrika street - Bandung