Cermin

Diluar kuternampak surya

Begitu terang menyilaukan

Hingga bayangku tak hadir disampingku

Atau bahkan hitam kulit gelapku

Disudut sofa itu kulempar asa

Menyudutkan galau dibawah kolong papan

Terpandang cakrawala begitu jauh pada mata berurai

Menyibakkan nuansa mimpi yang entah terkejar

Satu pijakan kuangkat

Mengikat harap pada gelora hampa

Mencoba berdiri namun ku mati

Tak nyata awalku berdiri

Namun ku ternyata ada untuk berdiri

Menelusup tenggelam batu terlempar

Dari dasar hingga batas terdalam

Perlahan susut karena terang

Sirna gelap mengusir hampa

Pada kumulai berdiri

Pada ku tapakan kaki

Pada ku terbang sekaligus tenggelam

Hitam matahariku bukan kelam

biarkan  berpelangi saat mata bertatap sendu

dunia tak bersahutan pada malam

hingga pagi terusir siang dan kembali meragu

Terngiang hampa terbakar amarah

Melepas hujaman ombak pada karang

Ku berteriak tanpa gema resah

Menyiutkan gelombang diantara perang

Biar kudaki puncak tenggelamku

Hingga nafas terpenggal ku beriring duka

Tanpa hiasan gelora berpacu

Ku tetap berlaga dengan jiwa

Kau goreskan tinta yang mengotori tubuhku

Diantara sejuta kelam yang kau daki

Tak pernah ku menjerit atau memaki

Hanya kau saja yang selalu terdiam membisu

Saat mata terpandang

Saat nyeri menjalari sukma

Kelu bercampur sejuta resah melanda

Dan kau tak pernah melukiskan bintang

Biar aku hanya bidang datar remang

Kau datang dengan sendumu

Tak pernah meragu kau tangisiku

Dan aku hanya diam diantara terang

Aku bukan cerita

Atau merdu pembawa mimpi

Tak bersedih dan berlalu pergi

Aku ada selalu ada disana

Structured Stupidity

Human being is a perfect creature based on anatomy, see how our five finger works everyday amazing right? it different with machinery which made by human. but what is the problem of being human? is it a mind? which given to us. Might be it doesn't a big deal if we're know how to handle with that but the saddest thing is we didn't know how to use it wisely.

Some people said that they're more wiser than others but in fact they are worse than other, about discipline, obey a system or even respect each other that make a value on it. Some people is forgetting about that, they only care how to survive for his own and how to beat other competitors without mercy. How brutal is that? For some people whom lived at this ages believe that a man or even a woman must have enough strength (power) to beat his/her life and with those ability they will become a winner even that way we must forget conscience. 

Stupidity is become the number one strength or become a good pretender as human which actually living in a social world but now the stupidity is more become something to cover up and has own mission that is to be superior at that social living. so then why I called structured stupidity? is there a structure for this stupidity? What I call with stupidity is a people who violate the norms of discipline, violate the norms of system which made for human continuity, violate the norms of respect and violate the norms of being human.

So what is the structure? Structure is a level which every level has own value or can be said that Stupidity is there in every structure of our life. Stupidity which happen on the government officials for the example, why they breaking their own rule to do a corruption and lost his face behind the bar, is it the consequences? wrong choice? or a mind trick that we can't handle it. Our social life now, see how they life.. they need a role model to continue their life! why? because they believe with following the role model then they will survive in this life and also a culture that made us become a consumptive human being. Who's to blame? NONE!....

a Motorcycle rider can cross the traffic light because of hurry  and being afraid beaten by others. every road he took is a competition for him where he want to beat everybody with all the way, and doesn't have limitation called regulation or a system as a social live. They become their self ego! so where's or what's the level for that stupidity?Who's to blame? NONE!.....

a man can't walked at the pedestrian walk because there are so many street trader which covered all the pedestrian walk and even cover almost all the road. who's to blame? NONE!...

People are smoking at the public area and didn't care with the others than throw garbage as they want. Historical places didn't take care and many many thing which happened in this nature. who's to blame? also NONE...!!!!

Where's the point off all mistakes and a choice being violate the rules or obey the rules. We're living in our brain and the architect of our path. the basic thing is WE STARTED FROM OUR SELF then in the future we're asking others to to the same or become a role model for them. so how about culture which already happens?? can we change it? OF COURSE WE CAN CHANGE IT! as long we're still ALIVE and want to make this life as better place to LIVED.

What the essences of all that? WE'RE HUMAN WHO DIDN'T LIVE BY OUR SELF, GOD CREATE US AND LIVING AS SOCIAL LIVE and what we should do? RESPECT OTHERS BY THE SIMPLE THING AND CONTINUE TO A LARGE THING... then GRATEFUL TO GOD and KEEP THE ENVIRONMENT AS BETTER PLACE, NOT TO SPOIL IT FOR OWN EGO.

This is not about the competition or a race who decide the winner took all the price, but the price is for all of us and we are entered the race without swallowing each others in a peace ways!.. THAT'S LIFE!!!

What Oscar will says?

I'm not Oscar the lizard that lives in the desert and expected the rain which never arrived, even sometimes the rain is come but still could not overtaken by Oscar or The Trio (Harchi, Buck and Popy). In fact sometimes maybe they get hurt by lighting because of the pursuit of rain or worse Oscar will be deal with the Chickens or Alligators which are waiting in the bottom of the valley. The funny thing Oscar and friend always shown to fall in that valley.

Life understanding in a character which shown as a struggle that never stops at one point to actually so I guess if the mission of the schemes of life described by Oscar and his friends then maybe will never finished until the end of this world, believe it or not.

I'm just a spectator outside the box called television where Oscar and his friends were in it at certain moment, perhaps on the sidelines of my coffee time when boredom struck at the evening at the behind television screen laughing the stupidity of Oscar which struggling to open the bottle of mineral water and then scramble with Harchi, Buck and Popy. Once again that was an impressive entertainment to enjoy my life.

Then where is my life understanding? Life? Struggle? Love of live or life for love? or even enjoy the afternoon coffee and laugh at life in this eye perspective of looking at TV box that now has become something great for humans. regardless of Oscar's character or other figures which has capability to control our emotions, stretching lives and reasonable limits between pleasure and a doctrinal of moral and immoral.

There is one scene that amused me enough to understanding live inside the TV box, which is a time when Oscar was waiting for the rain, that in the real life we're needed specially at the dessert. Then the rain was only dropped one water drop! before the water was falling to the sand Oscar have first pursued it with a burning passion, Then he took a kettle with the intent to catch the rain drop but then when the water fell into the kettle, the water is evaporated and I can see how disappointed Oscar is!! funny...

How precious The rain are? Isn't? where every moment of life depends on water and it described by Oscar that we need to work extra hard to get it. That's the essence of life attempted to pursue something worthy and those something can give us feedback for our life. Why Oscar chasing the rain? because he wanted to get drink and have a benefit by drinking those water.

 Life understanding is also not limited when we look for food and drink for the continuity of our lives, but also when we want to drive out boredom in our lives, routines or seek peace we want after pursuing something we want in life and love.

Back to Oscar!!

When boredom struck and undermining of his life, suddenly he found a toy that he considers could dispel the boredom, but what happened? The trio of Harchi, Buck and Popy also found Oscar and his toy and as being larger and stronger creature from Oscar so they can took that toy and throw Oscar away. The trio took that toy also to be played by their own because of course the trio are also being bored, Then what Oscar do?

Oscar painstakingly want to take back the toys with all the capabilities it has. Funny isn't it? but apparently that's the conclusion of it all, THAT LIFE IS ABOUT THE STRUGGLE! but whether what that's fighting against for. Our essence as human beings who live and born without anything, just born with a cry as loud as possible which then help us to breathe for the first time.

BUT ALSO THAT WAS ONE PERCEPTION BETWEEN MILLION PERCEPTIONS.

coffeetime

This should be my birthday, a new ME in beginning and START all over again of my entire life, then I took my empty cup, I filled with a coffee powder and pour it hot water. Is it still be me who drink coffee not more then 200 ml per days? Published not as coffee junkie but the coffee lovers without falling into it.

This should be a happy day for me but I wont get happy because I walked on ticking time 24 hours per day where sometime I got so low and certain time I got so high. So I asked this morning to my mirror and point on it "Who are you?", It answered the same question like I do and it also pointed at me. well then Thanks God I'm still be my self while I'm holding my coffee cup this morning. 

In while I tasted the coffee, the smell was nice and gave me passion to walk along the day ahead. but then I knew the taste was bitter. That bitterness is realizing me of something in life, the life it self and the struggle in it.

I'm wandering why this coffee has many philosophy related in life, too many thing to be understand but it also simple to get walk with it without knowing the meaning of all. Like the coffee taste and smell it can be neutralize all the smell but it also has character which as we know with the bitterness and smell. so I took more gulp of my coffee cup to find out what will happen the next minutes but it can't be categorized as a plan instead it just a dream where I'd put my hope. well I dream about Love, Loving, Loved and the most is LIVE. It won't bring me fly away just fully awake this day to realize who am I this minutes.

This day should be a saddest day for me because I left my last minutes and move forward above the time which I rode. but the same thing happens The coffee taste is made me forgetting the past and being ME inside my self. so once more I asked to my self "What are you?" my self won't answered those stupid question because my self also knowing that I'm a human being! so what's the fact between my past, now and a coffee inside my coffee time? The answer is question for your self and the answer is for me to mix in my coffee...

Entering my lunch time, my eyes won't get compromise. after fighting with the sun and have some battle with my own to get a LIFE without LIVE I'm moving forward until I'm finding the perfect time for my cup to be filled, filled by an own made coffee. my friend asked me "Why need bother to make a coffee by your self? you can buy it at the coffee shop instead you'll get extra service plus the waiter also seems friendly!". 

Hmmm.... for the certain time yes as human we're being serve by other, we paid a maid to serve us or even we got married to have a wife to serve us. so, how bout being single and what you can do is made your own coffee?.

Big question inside of me, soon I realized thing about "LIVE" and human basic instinct which must get a best thing in their life, if not they are complaining!

how about the taste? yes everyone has own taste, some people like a bitter coffee but some people also loving a sweet coffee or in between. 

Taste is about our self and our own life, if you like a bitter coffee or sweet coffee why don't you made your coffee by your self? so you will not complained about the taste?? am I right? or am I left?? 

It also didn't need any explanation to be understand we just ask to our self "what should we do?" instead we got the answer and still ask!

How bout the night coffee? at night we get sleep to get a strength for tomorrow, so why you decide to took a coffee for your drink?. 

well for this question I couldn't answer it it because of "taste" problem of many people, some people hate coffee because it can caused sleepless but for me as normally, I'm drinking coffee not because I want and a needed or even lifestyle!. I learn from it, what the taste? learn how to make a life formula inside my coffee and inspiration for me. Do you believe that? Don't be! It's the matter of our own belief, own answer and own question.

The rain song

Rain is the story of the night, day, morning and the evening. which day come to change or simply a story without name or a story of hope that should come and drown just like the wind carried the story and through time without telling.

Souls who dwell among the stories, watching love or even just as a loyal audience to many stories that may exist in front of the eye. And among us there's so much romance that happens whether it's a form of justice or humanity that eventually became an intrigue that interfere us as human beings.

The rain is also an art of humanity and eyes seeing which created rainbow and clean up the atmosphere become brighter than before. The song which sang inside the morning where we put a hope on it. The words which we can't describe how beautiful it is and how pure it is.

Jamie cullum on his lyrics :

"what a glorious feeling, I'm happy again, I'm laughing at clouds so dark up above, the sun's in my heart and I'm ready for love,

Let the stormy clouds chase, everyone from the place, come on with the rain, I've a smile on my face, I'll walk down the lane with a happy refrain." 

(Singing in the Rain). 

Led Zeppelin on their lyrics :

"These are the seasons of emotion and like the winds they rise and fall, this is the wonder of devotion, I seek the torch we all must hold.

This is the mystery of the quotient, upon us all a little rain must fall...It's just a little rain..."

(The Rain Song)

The Police is their lyrics :

"And if you see us on the corner, we're just dancing in the rain, I tell my friend when I see them outside my window pane, Shadows in the rain"

(Shadows in the rain)

Carl Thomas in his lyrics :

"Summer rain whispers me to sleep and wakes me up again, Sometimes I swear her call my name to wash away the pain, my summer rain.

So go ahead and make it rain, you bring the sunshine back again, so go ahead and make it rain, your tender touches wash away my rain."

( Summer rain)

And so many many lyrics about the rain which symbolize as love and life.

Might be you'll ask why I choose the rain in my subject? well... it's all happen caused a love and the philosophy. don't ask whom it is, it just a thought of someone who loving the rain.

The Fire and The Unspoken Dancing Rain

Did you ever love someone? perhaps you already falling in love, so can you describe what is love? I mean true love. My friend said that LOVE IS NOTHING!, is it true? my right side friend is also said INSTEAD LOVE IS NOTHING. And then my left side friend said WITHIN THE LOVE IS NOTHING. Which one is true? don't ask me dude, I'm here not to describe what is truly mean of love. it just a perception between millions perception which came out from human mouth. 

I loved the rain, and I'm falling into it. The rain is a symbol it could be a person, a girl or might be a philosophy of the rain it self. Rain was a gift from God for us then continuing this life, one of quotes "WHEN THERE'S NO RAIN, THEN NOTHING WILL BE GROW", That's the fact about the rain which helping us by the raindrop can grow the plant, gave us enough water etc. so if the rain was a girl, who will be I love with? Is it also giving me live? or might be giving me fertilizer to make me more grow up like a three!. Well I will say it just a feeling, but what kind of feeling?

Some people said that LOVE IS NOT ABOUT BELONGING, is it true? actually I'm not agree with that but not for complain, once again those are just one perception between of human thought. so if love is not about belonging why some people want some one they love as a mate? and whether we would be willing if someone we love is belongs to others? I bet no one will be able to do that, in fact we will do anything to maintain our love. then re-arrange the word LOVE IS ABOUT BELONGING, hmmm.... yes that's true in my perception, Love is about belonging where we belonging each other and by belonging each other they will have some good understanding and live together ever after, a wedding is one goal to make it happens but it also wedding can be separate by a divorce. Not the essence of the divorce but it's about a wedding as a dream to belonging some one we loved. 

If we're not belonging maybe love isn't a perfect word an example if we're loving a band who sing very nice and beautiful. Are we must married those band? no isn't?! so let's change the word love on it. LOVE is more about LINKAGE OF HEARTS between one man and one girl, The man loves the girl and the girl was the same. so how about SINCERITY? yes it has a huge value inside of love even LOVE IS SINCERITY, we're sincere to loving someone without take any boondoggle or any advantage for us. but not sincere to let someone go, why if we have sincerity of loving someone but that someone is can't be our love, rejection or might be she already engaged by own will or her parent will, what we should do? keep loving her or just let it go and stopping to said that you love her? DILEMMA right? between you loved her and want to make her as yours but it couldn't happen because of the certain condition and you also want make her happy meanwhile you're suffering because you will never be able to get her. CRAB!! That's not good isn't?

Did you ever felt a chemistry when you meet a girl and then believe if the girl is your mate? and then you're approaching her to got her attention and continued by many dream that some day you will be married her and make your love immortal. YES if the condition was supporting you, like she also had a dream the same like yours but if didn't? HEARTACHE? EMPTY HOPE? or else?. If I could assume This is one of God plan for us, no matter how hard you try even sometimes you're die while trying but if God plan was said different then be prepare to be heartache. LOL... but the opposite sometimes even this is very often happen we met a girl yesterday and then married today. MYSTERIOUS right? but do not continue the sentence after married you'll be divorce!. just stop at the good thing for you.

So what is the connection with the rain, fire or the dancing rain? 

Someone is came to me and why you loving the rain that much? The rain is calming but it also caused a storm! 

well it's not the rain who caused the storm? The wind? no. The atmosphere? also no, so who's fault? God? absolutely NOT, earth? no. There's no fault or any mistakes this is about balancing of our life where a good thing can be called good because there's a bad thing. It's about balance, like a love there's a hate but what is the difference between love and hate? The same time we always remembered what we love or hate even sometimes we're talking about it every times. so what's the point? The point is about silences and the unspoken thing which we're never be to understand it if we're not in the condition like LOVE and HATE. 

If you love someone, be sure that is really LOVE? it not just you said love at the last minutes and then you find a better person the next minutes, LOVES DOESN'T CHANGE! even in certain condition yes IT CAN BE CHANGE! but not always.. DON'T ASK YOUR HEART TO KNOW YOU'RE IN LOVE just ASK TO YOUR SELF, are you has a perfect love? or just unspoken dancing rain hoping the rain will come and after that you're complaining that the rain won't stopped etc. it can be a fire for you! and you'll burn in it. 

and once again...

I WOULD DANCE INSIDE THE RAIN! 

Paradigma Sosial (mungkin)

Kita hidup ditopang raga kita dengan segala kesempurnaan yang Tuhan berikan kepada kita, Kita di karuniai tangan yang membantu kita mengerjakan segala sesuatu, kaki dan anggota tubuh lainnya yang secara dinamis bisa bergerak dan berfungsi pada tempatnya masing-masing. Tangan kanan tak pernah merasa iri kepada tangan kanan begitu juga tangan kiri yang tak pernah dendam karena selalu diidentikan dengan sesuatu yang kiri, dan hal-hal lainnya yang berfungsi menopang satu sama lainnya. Bagi yang terlahir cacatpun selalu ada penyeimbang yang kemudian bisa dipakai untuk melangsungkan hidupnya, sebagai contoh untuk orang yang terlahir buta maka indera-indera lainnya akan mempunyai kemampuan yang lebih, dan lain sebagainya.

Sebagai manusia kita hidup secara sosial atau bersamaan dengan manusia-manusia lainnya, baik secara struktural, kelas, gender ataupun sebuah lingkungan yang hanya menamakan diri sebagai kumpulan manusia-manusia yang hidup di dunia. Entah seberapa besar dunia yang kita tahu, namun kita batasi saja karena Kebesaran Tuhan ini hanyalah Tuhan yang tahu sedangkan manusia hanyalah satu dari sekian mahluk yang diciptakan oleh-Nya.

Kita hidup dalam lingkungan yang mempunyai keterkaitan antara satu sama lainnya, bukan saja mengenai cinta atau pasangan yang notabene memang betul kita telah diciptakan oleh Tuhan secara berpasang-pasangan, ada laki-laki maka ada perempuan. Hal-hal tersebutlah yang kemudian menjadikan keterikatan antara manusia satu dengan lainnya. Kita mengenal "cinta", yang entahlah apa artinya. Hubungan-hubungan itu begitu kuat yang pada akhirnya kemudian menopang segala aspek kehidupan kita. Sebagaimana kita tahu Cinta bisa membuat seseorang melupakan jati dirinya ataupun dengan cinta seseorang bisa merasa menjadi diri seutuhnya, padalah sebenarnya dia sendiri sudah utuh sebagai manusia. mungkin kata "utuh" ini salah, karena dengan menyebut kita tidak utuh akan menimbulkan persepsi bahwa kita tidak bersyukur atas kesempurnaan ciptaan Tuhan. Setidaknya itu hanya satu persepsi dari sekian juta persepsi yang akan timbul.

Sudah jelas bahwa kita membutuhkan orang lain untuk kita melangsungkan hidup, sebagai contoh kita membutuhkan makanan, makanan dijual di pasar, pasar berasal dari petani, dan selanjutnya seperti rantai yang selalu berkaitan hingga berhenti pada asal rumus penciptaan Tuhan menciptakan manusia.

Diantara hubungan-hubungan dan keerikatan antar manusia itu kemudian timbul beberapa teori yang mendasari hubungan-hubungan manusia berdasar dari pikiran yang telah dikarunakan Tuhan kepada kita. Teori yang meliputi daya pikir yang kemudian menunjukan tingkat kepintaran dan kecerdasan, daya pikir juga yang melandasi kita terhadap tingkat emosional, pencarian jati diri dan bagaimana ia menghadapi kehidupan yang misterius ini. Kemudian timbul juga paradigma-paradigma diantara lingkungan yang bisa kita namai dengan kemasyarakatan.

Paradigma secara etimologis dapat diartikan sebagai suatu model dalam teori ilmu pengetahuan atau kerangka berpikir. Secara terminologis paradigma adalah pandangan pendasar para ilmuwan entang apa yang menjadi pokok persoalan yang semestinya dipelajari oleh suatu cabang ilmu pengetahuan.

Terlepas dari beberapa pengertian diatas, paradigma dapat juga diartikan sebagai dasar pikiran seorang manusia yang mencakup didalamnya cara pandang dan sebagainya. Kemudian hubungannya dengan perilaku sosial manusia satu dan manusia lainnya adalah beberapa hal yang mendasari pemikiran terhadap sesuatu atau seseorang yang berada dilingkungan kita, dan kemasyarakatan adalah salah satunya.

Kita membutuhkan pekerjaan untuk "menghidupi" kita dengan cara membeli bahan makanan dari "penghasilan" kita, ataupun dengan persepsi-persepsi lainnya tentang "menghidupi" diri kita. Ada berbagai cara untuk bekerja bahkan mungkin jutaan hal yang juga mungkin kita tidak pernah menyangka akan hal itu. Ada yang meng "halal"kan segala cara untuk menghasilkan uang, namun ada juga yang berusaha untuk tetap "halal" dijalannya. Dari beberapa cara yang kita tahu terkait dengan hubungan kemasyarakatan yang hidup disuatu kecamatan, kemudian, kabupaten, propinsi dan pada akhirnya hidup disuatu negara, tidak terlepas dari beberapa serangkaian proses yang kita lakukan untuk mendapatkan ijin pekerjaan, tentunya karena kita mentaati sebuah sistem yang kita sebut sebagai undang-undang yang ditetapkan oleh pemerintah. Siapa itu pemerintah? tentunya juga hanya orang biasa yang hidup dikalangan kita dan dipercaya sebagai wakil dari kita untuk mengelola dan menjalankan sebuah tatanan sistem sebuah negara.

Dari tatanan tersebut kemudian kita mngenal adanya "birokrasi" yang diartikan sebagai "segala sesuatu yang berurusan diatas meja". (arti yang aneh). Kita tahu kertas dan tanda tangan yang kemudian menjadi kekuatan yang sangat luar biasa, namun apa essensi dari birokrasi? sekali lagi menurut salah satu persepsi diantara berjuta berpersepsi mungkin itu adalah sebuah bentuk ketaatan kita terhadap sebuah sistem yang diakui oleh pemerintah kita dan kita menyetujuinya. (mungkin!). dari mana dasarnya? (mungkin) karena telah ditelaah dari beberapa sudut yang menurut pemerintah adalah yang terbaik untuk keberlangsungan "hidup" kita. Ada yang disebut RUU (Rancangan Undang-Undang) yaitu sebelum undang-undang itu ditetapkan dan kemudian undang-undang itu sendiri dan peraturan-peraturan lainnya. Dan tentunya sebagai warga yang baik dan benar tentunya kita akan menaati peraturan tersebut karena juga dipercayai hal tersebut merupakan suatu jaminan keamanan bagi kita dalam suatu negara, baik itu berinvestasi, berdagang, bertani, kepemilikan dan lain-lain.

Namun ada sebuah paradigma sosial yang mungkin terjadi diantara kita berkaitan dengan birokrasi yang harus kita lewati beberapa tahap, yaitu : "uang mengalahkan segalanya!". Apa betul? apa ada kaitannya dengan "korupsi" yang sering terjadi dibelahan dunia ini? apa betul birokrasi itu dibuat untuk memudahkan kita tanpa menyulitkan kita? apa betul kita harus mengikuti aturan-aturan yang telah ditetapkan oleh pemerintah dalam rangka "birokrasi" ini?. Dan sebagai warga yang baik tentu akan menjawab, iya kita akan mengikuti aturan yang berlaku. Namun kenyataan apa yang ada di lingkungan kita? mungkin harus diulangi lagi bahwa"uang mengalahkan segalanya" bahkan bisa mempercepat dan memperlancar birokrasi. lazimkah? atau wajarkah? tanpa merendahkan profesi yang berurusan dengan birokrasi ini namun terkadang kita harus berhadapan secara samar masalah ini, kita dihadapkan pada sebuah dilema dimana kita menginginkan perijinan yang cepat dan lancar, namun dipersulit karena tidak ada "pelicin" didalamnya, sebagai warga yang taat tentunya ingin mengikuti aturan dan menyetujui tarif-tarif yang ditentukan, namun persoalan "tarif pelicin" ini bagaimana?. Pada akhirnya kita menyerah dengan keadaan!

Sebetulnya apa yang kita hadapi diantara manusia-manusia dan keterikatannya? sistem? cinta? atau hanya basa-basi?

Life's?? (re-post)

Did you ever talking about life my friend? I bet you did and it's normal for human being like us, in some ways many people is questioning about it and about the answer, I think they also have own perception.. but I will not talking about life but this is one of many perception which I met on the street. I called "The story about life".

Once in a time we're gathering in a small coffee shop in the street corner around my neighborhood. Near by the window I can see an old man which starring out the window without hope with his right hand holding a cup of tea, It seems like he's hopeless on life so I decided to sit next by him so I can see outside and who's coming to this coffee shop.

a moment latter one man is running from one of the table and the waitress was said "He's always forgot to pay!" then I asked why and "how many times he do that?" The  fat waitress said "His father is our former investor, so  he think he can use that power for not paid in every he came to this coffee shop, WHAT A LIFE!! it's about A POWER even it didn't come from him self". I was tried to contemplating with those "power" world, is is true that in this life, who has more power then he will always be superior?.

I haven't finished my contemplating then I heard a motorcycle stopped in front of the coffee shop. a minutes I can see someone entering the coffee shop then he said to us "WHICH ONE OF YOU WHO KNOW THE DIRECTION OF LIFE?". We are starring each others and didn't know what to answer.Because none of us could answer so he decided to sat and order some coffee. After he drank the coffee a half a flies was entering that cup then dies in the surface of coffee, that young man asked the waiters to change the coffee but the waiters said it's not her fault. The young was insist and argue about that's flies "LIFE, WHERE IT LIVES and WHEN IT LIVES". Both of them was stubborn, they keep arguing LIVES meanwhile we're (8 mans consist of policemen, government official, an army, civilian, an architect, beggar, merchant and a college student) kept searching the answer of direction of life after before I heard some of them talking about corruption and which side they are between to be corruptor or not to be corruptor. 

In the sidelines of feud between The waiter and The young boy, we could hear their conversation. "You didn't know nothing about life! you're still young" The waiter was yelling. The young boy also not gave up and yell back "You also didn't knows and never understand to keep alive in life, how and why!!". That dialogue was repeatedly between them as also they didn't know how to stop the conversation.

"FICTITIOUS!!" a government official was surprised us as he pounded the table  that cause an huge explosions in our mind about understanding life. so it was a SHOCK THERAPY for us and after that we have one conclusion that LIFE IS FICTITIOUS, we're think of it off course because of one PROVOCATIVE word which said by one person and realizing we're only a human being which never be bother to think about life which dizzying us.

a Policemen which we didn't know before told us that he was corrupt in his institution and by that money he want to pay our food and drink to purify the money he got. Basically we never agree with the corruption and we also said NO TO CORRUPTION!. but that time we decide to said okay to accept the policemen offer and then he become our friend, off course because he paid for all we ate, if doesn't maybe thing will be different .

Then that policemen was sitting alone in one table and order a coffee for the fifth times and said "DEAD", we didn't know why he said that, is he already desperate with his life and choose a word "dead" as the final conclusion? or he is regret the corruption which has been doing? or there any excuse of that word!?. 

Those DEAD word is very amaze, we're all stopped arguing include The waiter and The young boy, for almost one hour we were think of that word and we finally agree that "THE DIRECTION OF LIFE IS DEATH AND A LIFE AFTER DEATH (HEAVEN OR HELL)"

The thing that we're confused are why that word was said by a corruptor as we know that he is not a good guy! after hours the policemen said "Well I knew all of you confused why I said dead, I said that because I'm using a chance in my life and if we're still able to enjoy the world why we should bother between good and bad, so use your time well before you all DEAD!". 

WHAAAAAT!!!???? We're all missed the conclusion about LIFE and DEAD! so one of us that is the merchant while he stalls out from the coffee shop, he said "UNDERSTANDING LIFE IS ABOUT US AND US!", then the army also stalls out and said "WE'RE HOLDING THE KEY OF OUR DESTINY". After that an architect also decide to stand and left us while said "WE'RE THE ARCHITECT OF OUR LIFE!"

a Beggar and me is stay at the coffee shop, we're silent and think of all sentence which came out and tried to search the connection, but meanwhile I wrote about my life the beggar also get out and said "POOR PEOPLE DIDN'T LIVE BUT TRY TO LIVE". 

me : "THINKING NOT TO THINK! and CONFUSE BUT NOT TO GET CONFUSED!!"

Word of My Heart

.................................................

I found my JAZZ

I never count minutes of my life since the first time I was born and met the world which is beyond my imagination, but it's all not about regret something that we're not able to do it. It is about the minutes we're standing now and how we deal and see with our eyes and recorded into our brain as something which is valuable for us to keep moving and finish our goal inside our life. 

Being human is not a choice, it is a fate which God given to us, we're perfectly created with all the combination and system in our body, God gave a mind to make us different with the animal, we're able to think and decide where is the path we should choose and where we should dump it. Some people was born in deficiency but when it was born deformed, there must be something that exceeded, the sense for the example so he could live equal as the normal person.

If we're talking about life, this limited pages will be not enough to wrote all the process of our life, my life, your life or even everybody life. so what I'm write down is about a minutes we're standing and seeing thing with my version.

JAZZ, what is true mean of jazz? According to wikipedia :

Jazz is a musical style that originated at the beginning of the 20th century in African American communities in the Southern United States: it was born from a confluence of African and European music traditions. From its early development until the present, jazz has incorporated music from 19th and 20th century American popular music.its West African pedigree is evident in its use of blue notes, improvisation, polyrhythms, syncopation, and the swung note.

The word "jazz" (in early years also spelled "jass") began as a West Coast slang term and was first used to refer to music in Chicago at about 1915.

Louis Amstrong

For some understanding JAZZ is the way of life, everybody choose their music as a role model and how they fun in it, Jazz also has many kind in line of advances of age there are fusion jazz, swing jazz, acid jazz etc. But still the point was JAZZ.

For some people JAZZ is hard to be accept because of the music was too complicated (for someone who loves simple music) but actually JAZZ was very simple we don't need to understand what is JAZZ to enjoy JAZZ in our lives. Can you imagine when you're broken heart and go to the Bar where JAZZ was played, might be you will order some beers or a cup of coffee to get drunk and forget all whats happen to you, then JAZZ was played. Some people will not care about this but the essence of JAZZ also is not only about a music where we can listened into it. I found a good philosophy well then I found JAZZ in my life.

Ray Brown

A music which play is always in a rhythm and harmonic, but did you ever seen the JAZZ player? it seem like they never had a burden inside their head. They seem to enjoy what He/She played even I knew behind those instrument there are a big burden (maybe love,life etc). This thing I made as one of philosophy of JAZZ where a music of JAZZ can gave us a learning time about how we seen this life, about the minutes we stand (when we enjoying JAZZ). I forgot my past! I forgot all my sorrow behind (even the song was about broken heart or rejection). 

A minutes where we standing on a minutes after we listen to the JAZZ is different to me, we enjoying this life on a deep calmness SWING JAZZ, or even we enjoy LATIN JAZZ, FUSION JAZZ, ACID JAZZ to get dance without any emotion, just flow with it. And many JAZZ which gave a new lesson about expression then I called IT GIVE MORE BRAVERY FOR BEING OUR SELF.

I liked all kind of music rock, pop, soul etc. but I found a different thing in JAZZ, well until now I didn't know who's my favorite jazz singer or even who's the player of JAZZ ages to ages or what the tittle of the song. 

I JUST ENJOYING JAZZ LIKE THE WAY I ENJOYING MY LIFE! so don't ask what JAZZ I liked or who, where, why, and WHY AGAIN?

I LOVE JAZZ! 

The price

What is truly mean of discipline? some people said discipline is obey a rule, and the question is who's rule? government rule? a leader rule? or rule of our self?.

The rule is created to make a boundaries in every single thing we do, We live in a nation and there's a written rules called "regulations", and as a civilian we must obey those rule. If we're not obey those rule then we're categorized as a guilty person who break the rule. [I think no need more explanation about this]. and there are many rules in our life, as a family, as a neighborhood or even as a person. We lived in the boundaries to make a limitation so we'll not become a wild person without any rules. [that's the normal thing right?].

So we're talking about discipline inside of us, also to make a limitation that this is between us and us not to be understand, or not an asking. I think everyone has own perception about discipline, maybe they already set up a regulation in their days start from the morning till the night. How about discipline between us and surround us, yes it also more important than us and us. The basic thought was "we do not like to being harm by others so we will not harm others". 

Taking from that basic thought so I'll try to write as my eyes could see everyday. 

When you're crossing the street, where will you choose to cross? if there are a crossing bridge but it a little bit far from you, compared with if you're crossing by walking down the street. I won't answer that question because there's also have two answer, but if this is happen to you what would you answer it? 

Do you choose to cross down the street and you're not spending much time to climb the bridge stair and risking your life and hit by cars? or the opposite, you choose take the crossing bridge and spend more time and power to walk but you're not have a risk to be hit by cars?

When you ride a motorcycle, will you using a helmet? and why? is it because of you're afraid of the police or you're wearing it because of you're won't get hurt if you're had an accident? also when you drive a car, will you using safety belt because of police regulation or your regulation?

You have a meeting today, and everybody is waiting for you because you're the decision maker, what will you do? Are you gonna let them wait and walk slowly because if the meeting won't start without you or you will run to catch the meeting because of your promises of the meeting? 

 [this is about true discipline]

Everyone loves the instant thing, we just taking a simple ways to reach our purpose but in the real world, simple thing could be a huge thing for the others. this is not a reflection or invitation, it just something that you will be able to read and understand, how big is the price of discipline, your discipline, their discipline and all human discipline. Discipline is priceless more than you thought. like a story it has a beginning, process and the conclusion. 

Being discipline also could be mean your self, through their judgement and everything we do in the real life. but it is not too important about the judgement but the important thing is "BEING DISCIPLINE IS BEING OUR SELF". that's why God gave a mind to us to decide where we must go and what we should answer.

The Love Coffee

Love is like a cup of coffee, it doesn't have shape or real form even we could see a cup of coffee with own eyes but it not the exact form of it. Love sometimes can be bitter like a coffee without sugar [in this case I mentioned coffee as a coffee without sugar "the real coffee powder mixed in a cup and pour by hot water]. Love also can be sweet as sugar but I'm not discussing about the sweetness. We better talk the bitterness so we will find out what is the true mean of bitterness [in my version off course].

Coffee is a bitter drink as we know but we're also amaze why everybody loves coffee? or why a coffee can has a big price? and become one of mostly human needed. It is the base of this philosophy and finally I found out why after interpret the coffee it self time after time. so let's find out.

As we know or we have been skipped this stage that when we first took a coffee, what is your impression? "BITTER", right? why? because it true of coffee taste but why everybody loves it?. Let see...

If you took a coffee yesterday and stopped today then I'll say you'll never find out the answer, so took more coffee today, tomorrow and doing repeatedly until finish your week days. after that you tell me what is the taste?

Still bitter right? but the more we tasted those bitterness the more we find out what is the taste, I have conclusion to say that "the more we taste the bitterness of coffee then the more you understand what is the mean of bitterness in correlation of life". why? [I found out why so many "why" in my wrote??????]. 

For some people life is not so easy and simple to run, some people become desperate and even some people decided to kill them self because they not stand with all the burden of his life. STUPIDITY!!!

When we decided to lived in this world it is not our decision, but God decision which we called FATE and what is the mean of a fate really are? Fate is God plan which given to us, did you realize that actually in our life we always got the best thing, even sometimes we mentioned that we're in a wrong decision but in fact after we took those decision, we're still a live and also got something that we never predict it. Yes... sometimes we got heartache or being tread by others but after that if we got the same treatment we will be able to face it because we already pass that process and understand how to deal with it. RIGHT??

POSITIVE THINKING IS THE ANSWER, IT ALSO APPLIES ON COFFEE

Then, For some people Coffee also categorized as a toxic, they were shouted as anti-coffee and will not drink a coffee even in a drop, is it wrong? not it isn't. It's their choice but well I'll tell you about coffee. This is a quotes which I got from wikipedia about coffee benefit for our health, also visit coffeescience for more benefit of coffee :

The health effects of coffee have been studied to determine how coffee drinking affects humans. Coffee contains several compounds which are known to affect human body chemistry. The coffee bean itself contains chemicals which are mild psychotropics for humans as a defense mechanism of the Coffea plant. These chemicals are toxic in large doses, or even in their normal amount when consumed by many creatures which may otherwise have threatened the beans in the wild. Coffee contains caffeine, which acts as a stimulant.

Recent research has uncovered additional stimulating effects of coffee which are not related to its caffeine content. Coffee contains an as yet unknown chemical agent which stimulates the production of cortisone and adrenaline, two stimulating hormones.

Amaze right, but like a Love, coffee also has a side effect. If we're loving too much then it will us [like a song by Queen : Too much love will kill you]. The meaning is if we're loving somebody then love rightly with own portion. Don't loving too much, otherwise when you're loving too much, if someone that you loved is gone you'll cry for it. RIGHT?? so I will say

ANY EXCESS IS NOT GOOD, THEN IT SHALL APPROPRIATELY

So, what is the connection between love and coffee? to explain this condition I have took a side effect of a coffee if we're excess on it. this quotes I took from ezinearticles :

However, coffee consumption does come with risks. There is some evidence to suggest that sperm swims faster in fluids that contain coffee and therefore coffee consumption could be related to the reduction of fertility. Higher levels of homocysteine have been associated with increased coffee drinking. These heightened levels are shown to be associated with coronary heart disease. Further to this, coffee does contain cafestol, which has been shown to raise levels of cholesterol, although this is mainly associated with boiling coffee grounds in water. Typical drip coffee makers and percolators remove this ingredient through filters.

It has been said that women who drink coffee will lose some calcium. This could result in bone density problems. It has also been proven that women who drink over four cups of coffee a day have a higher risk of developing urinary incontinence. However, there is some agreement that coffee on a mild to moderate consumption, the benefits outweigh the risks. The risks and the benefits are incomparable.

So, what should we do now? I think everyone will agree if we should take as it portion, for loving, for doing anything and also for drinking coffee, so how much we should take a coffee per-day? As result and many exploration for finding the maximum dose coffee per day is 2 -3 cups (or fewer) and do not over indulge.

The next question is, How much the dose for loving somebody?? hmmm.... well ask your self! don't ask me!! 

So The conclusion is Coffee or love are not a judgement of some taste, bitter or sweet but it a matter of life process, sometimes we met sorrow, pain and bitter life but also we never complaining because it also balanced with the sweet of happiness. 

COFFEE, LOVE, JAZZ, RAIN OR WHAT EVER WE CALLED LIFE AND WE DEAL WITH IT!!!

the unspoken word

If you're asking how much is my price then I would answer that my price is less than a dollar, Many pages in front of my life but it didn't make me immortal for being someone who wrote all the journey in the certain page. a dollar of my price is not a value of me but instead more about a book cover which everyone judging about it.

Everyday is nothing but stress for me, any lesson and all taste about life, reality and chase the dream fill me out of memory realize I'm just a thing. and lost control of my self, lying down above the book I wrote without moving. I didn't have hands or legs to moved. 

Being discredit or an outsider of my kind, faraway and lonely inside the pocket or unspoken drawer of old table. Many important document I wrote and signed I filled with full ink which every drop is very valuable, I never cried before even I'm loosing my soul and been dump away from my life. I never complained although everybody watch me down so low. I realize if all in this world has own function and it's me now watching dark trash after all I've done.

A long the way I'd stand doing many thing, held by the right hand or held by left hand wrote a love letter or wrote a tread and it's all about the connection between one people and others, a man love a woman. giving a flower and a letter in it to impress the girl and also for business thing I've wrote a contract of business relationship. The morning story, The night story, expression of an artist and it's all about black above the white.

Even today is the ages of digital they still need me to write a sign or just to sketch something, and I'll proud of it. writing a journey, a diary, a heart feeling of a man or a woman. That's make me valuable and priceless, I'm become a symbol of sword and unspoken word.

I won't fight the computer or a cell phone who made me useless in a certain condition, I won't race with the technology which tread on me a long my journey. I'm a superior in different ways and that's the way I am. silent word or any courage of something unspoken.

It became it self which a word couldn't have a voice to talk and do nothing, it become a system which controlling our brain as a rule to follow or to break it. and the boundaries was me inside the note. Silent scene of a letter of my journey.

I'm falling around breaking my self off and replaced a broken heart and hold my own for the next courage then I'll be speak as my letter did after I'm lying down, refill my ink and stay strong doing everything. I didn't know my name and where I go. All the detail was static inside of me for tomorrow manufacturing. 

and everything will be just fine.................. 

The old racer

I'm on my speed when I was runaway from the start line get over with my fuel and all the bravery inside, I think I could be a winner of my race. Fighting my own wheel and vision a head focusing on my speedometer which I didn't know what speed now I'm running.

I built my engine with my head and arrange it into wheels with hope I could speeding in my highroad, but then it screw me up, my engine is only a small and not gave me a hope to be the road king and running fast in the fast line. then I turn over to the slower line where many engine like me should placed, I cried at the side of the pedestrian walk realizing I'm just a small engine who wants to lived in the fast line.

Some of mechanic came to me, then erased my tears and given me a thing that I should know better as an engine. They're giving me a notes behind my seat and I can read it loud

"Don't mention the speed when you're in running"

"Speeding is not about the way you move but it more about understanding how fast your machine able to run"

"Long way to run is faraway mind so it will be better not to talk the distance just prepare your speed today"

It's really awake me up, opened my mind and fighting my consciousness for not thinking to be a winner in every race I took. Not in a life race or love race, just by being a wheel that can moved and slowly walk a long the race and faced that I'm small than the others.

In the reality of my ages also this is not my time for being run so I continue my journey in a middle of slow and fast line. I'm not that desperate to be an old machine with slow speed but in fact the more this race is left me the more valuable of me, at least I'm not in a museum right now.

..........................

Jazz of the rainfall

I should not talk without make any sound, I have drawn into the symphony with take me to remember how life is and what life is all about. Then I moved to my bass and grab the string to play jazz and left my coffee become cold.

The first rhythm I played is about sorrow of my black yesterday, when I started to sing the first lyric which came out is "why" but then I didn't continue the rhythm to make an objection of my thought. The dark night isn't gave me any inspiration till the raindrop fallout from the sky and hit the ground very loud then I realize that I should asking to the rain which giving me life and hope till right now. 

I asked to the rain "What I should sing about life? I have learned from the coffee from many times and Jazz also has given me deep calm of loneliness and enjoy as I own the world. please tell me rain what should I sing?"

The rain was silent and then the thunder was make a scary noise at the distance, I took my cold coffee and try to drink it with my bass in the left hand. The rain was slowly stop and I can hear the rain was singing.

"I'm not a thing as called yesterday or even tomorrow

I'm just pretending to be a storm and fill my dance with full of anger

but inside of me, I'm just a tear of the sky"

I'm sitting behind my bass and knocking my finger into the tube and found out that inspiration is not a word but a feel because of the thing surround us. Then I grab the string and let my finger dance on it. as my mind was sing about today, the minutes I stand and the way I felt this second.

I'm not going to understand what the mean because in my jazz now is only thing of a second in my mind which built by my soul and trust it to my heart then my mind was flowing in a blood flow of my nerve and let my finger following the tempo and make it as syncopation of jazz.

The rain was gone and even I was pretending not care but inside I have make it into a song from the deepest feeling. The thunder was silent and the sky is clear now as I seen the sparkling star at the distance.

"I do believe of time and wishing to dance with the rain for once again in my life"

Ke-Simpul-an

Hujan adalah cerita malam, siang datang dan malam berganti entah hanya sebuah cerita tanpa nama atau cerita harapan yang seharusnya kunjung datang dan tenggelam begitu saja seperti angin yang terbawa cerita dan melintasi waktu tanpa bercerita.

Jiwa yang diam diantara cerita, menyaksikan cinta atau bahkan hanya sebagai penonton setia terhadap cerita-cerita yang mungkin ada dihadapan mata. Dan diantara kita begitu banyak romansa yang terjadi entah itu suatu bentuk keadilan ataupun kemanusiaan yang pada akhirnya menjadi sebuah intrik yang mengganggu kenyamanan kita sebagai manusia.

Tidak sedikit cerita dimana kekerasan terjadi akibat hanya kesalahan kecil saja atau bahkan sebuah dilema masa lalu yang berujung dendam. Lalu pernahkah kamu merasa hanya diam atau entah memang diam ketika melihat seorang anak kecil yang tertidur di emperan sebuah toko hanya berbalut kaus lusuh dan sepertinya tidak pernah menyentuh air selama berminggu-minggu, apakah kita diam?

Kemudian cerita cinta yang terlahir dari sebuah keyakinan, seorang laki-laki yang mampu meninggalkan segala atribut keduniawiannya demi ingin mempertahankan rasa cintanya ( judul : story between the rainfall) atau seorang laki-laki yang demi kesembuhan istrinya rela dikeluarkan dari realitas kemasyarakatannya dan diasingkan untuk menjadi manusia (judul : a Hotel called "sincerity as my self"). dan beberapa cerita-cerita lain yang tampaknya sangat asing atau justru kita mengenal dekat dengan cerita itu. bahkan tak jarang terjadi pada kita.

Yang kita lakukan hanyalah menilai dan membuat suatu alur plot tentang cerita-cerita tersebut dalam suatu aliran nada yang mungkin saja tetap sumbang untuk didengarkan. "Demi Cinta", sebuah kalimat dengan dua kata ini yang menjadi topik bagi semua orang hidup didunia.

Demi cinta kita terhadap Allah Tuhan Yang Maha Kuasa, kita mampu menjadi orang yang benar dan berusaha benar.

Demi cinta kita terhadap dunia, kita mampu menguasai dunia atau bahkan kebanyakan hanya mati ketika mencobanya.

Demi seseorang yang kita cintai, kita menjadi sesuatu yang terkadang tidak kita inginkan.

Demi cinta kita terhadap materi yang bernama uang sehingga kita menyanyangi betul kantong kita 

Demi berikutnya dan demi, demi, demikian seterusnya...

Sebetulnya apa yang diperjuangkan dalam setiap sebuah cerita? apa demi, demi yang disebutkan diatas?

Jika kita mengharap hujan hari turun maka demi apa kita akan berdoa, dan apakah demi-demi itu juga tidak ada kaitannya dengan faedah yang akan timbul selanjutnya sehingga berkaitan dengan sebuah nilai ketulusan?

sebagai contoh :

Jika seseorang melakukan sesuatu demi cinta apakah sebetulnya dia juga mengharapkan sesuatu dari yang dicintainya, misalnya perasaan yang sama? atau demi cinta ia melakukan sesuatu agar ia dapat dilihat sebagai orang yang gigih dalam memperjuangkan cinta?

Jika seseorang berbicara demi kepentingan masyarakat, apakah seseorang itu dijamin tidak mengharapkan imbalan dari orang banyak itu? atau memang is menonjolkan diri sebagai mahluk yang dominan diantara orang-orang yang berada di lingkungan tersebut?.

Lalu apa dibalik semua cerita yang terlihat oleh mata apakah sebuah nilai? yang akan timbul saat kita melakukan sesuatu dimana orang lain yang mempunyai penilaian atau justru sebuah kebanggaan terhadap diri yang telah menguasai diri sendiri dalam konteks beberapa pilihan yang telah ia ambil dalam hidupnya, bahkan ketika ia memutuskan untuk tetap mempunyai rasa cinta? atau justru itu hanya sebuah kebohongan?

Dan dibalik nilai-nilai itu pada akhirnya memang betul bahwa manusia adalah berbeda, entah itu hati ataupun pikiran. berdiri dengan otak dan hati kita sendiri (own heart and will). kita ungkapkan rasa cinta dan mengenai jawaban, kita tidak pernah berkuasa atas jawaban ya dan tidak. sedangkan jika itu terjawab ya pula tidak menjadikan sebuah jaminan bahwa rasa cinta kita akan abadi dalam ikatan pernikahan. 

[teman saya bilang ini alibi saya] tapi mata kita yang berbicara sementara mulut hanya bisa berbohong berkali-kali, tangan kita adalah cerminan hati sementara otak kita masih dalam lemari.

Kesimpulan yang aneh bukan??? masa bodo teuing a.k.a masa bodo amat! ROTFL a.k.a seuri gogoleran